


take me all the way

by bluenorth



Series: Canon Compliant 'Verse [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017 IIHF Ice Hockey World Championships, 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Angst, Barebacking, Bisexual Character, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Edmonton Oilers, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Fuck Freakout, Team Germany, asking for a date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-10-18 03:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10608228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluenorth/pseuds/bluenorth
Summary: The Oilers make it to the postseason for the first time in a decade while Connor and Leon navigate their changing relationship.(A series accompanying the season's most dynamic duo through the 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs & 2017 IIHF World Championships)





	1. Regular Season, Game 82

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from _New Year's Day_ by Pentatonix.
> 
> Here's a thing about trying to keep things canon compliant when you're writing along a playoff run as it happens: it's really hard to plan ahead (I wouldn't recommend it lol).  
> Some, but not all parts of this have been beta'd, and all were written under time constraints as I was trying to get each chapter out before the next game took place.
> 
> I've also realized that reading this after the fact might be slightly confusing as the chapters aren't very well connected, especially if you didn't follow the Oilers postseason or don't remember what exactly happened during which game, so I've expanded the chapter notes a little to include a quick roundup of the games, plus links to the official recap.
> 
> The fic originally ended after chapter 16 and I won't keep it marked as a WIP, but it's probable that I'll expand on it every so often, when memorable things happen that inspire me to check in on my canon compliant 'verse. Also, regarding canon compliance: I've ret-conned Connor's lovely girlfriend for simplicity's sake and there are a few other things that don't entirely line up because information only became available in hindsight. I might fix these things one day, who knows. 
> 
> Massive shout out to M for beta'ing a big chunk of this, to Kels for all the great brainstorming sessions and being my playoffs watch-buddy, to Jule for being so enthusiastic and supportive and wonderful, and to Laura and Ria for being the best cheerleaders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this post-game interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkJpHxmih_8). 
> 
> Set a day after [Game 82](https://youtu.be/6Q55TlrNNlU) against Vancouver, during which Connor got his 100th point on Leon's goal, Leon secured a pretty big bonus and everyone was really excited about it.

Leon’s limbs are heavy in a good way, sprawled out as he is on Connor and Nursey’s massive couch. The exertion from the game settles deeper into his muscles and when he checks the time on his phone, he realizes that midnight has come and gone while they were hanging out. They’ve had many good nights in the past couple of weeks, but the final game of the season had been special. Leon can’t remember the last time he felt like this, glad for the goal and his bonus, but content beyond that, too.

Next to him, Connor shifts a little and gets up. Leon watches him walk to the bathroom and tries not to focus on where his arm suddenly feels cold when it was warm a second before from Connor leaning against it. He should probably go downstairs to his own apartment and get some sleep, but he is too comfortable and tired to face getting up just yet, so he finds the remote and changes the channel instead.

Sportsnet is showing Connor’s post-game and Leon is about to keep looking for something else when he hears one of the reporters mention his name, telling Connor about something Leon said in his own interview. He tried his best to downplay just how much he’d been looking for Connor during the game and he’ll never admit that the only thing on his mind in the third period was getting Connor the last point he needed.

On TV, Connor smiles and talks about them trying to have fun all season, then smiles even wider when someone brings up Leon’s bonus. One of the reporters asks if Leon would take Connor out to dinner and he misses the reply because he gets stuck on the idea of taking Connor to a nice, fancy restaurant.

The toilet flushes and Leon shuts down this train of thought. He’ll buy Connor dinner, but it’ll probably be at a busy restaurant where they can wear snapbacks and blend in so as few people as possible recognize them. Connor’s face disappears from the TV screen just as he comes out of the bathroom. Leon half expects him to announce that he’s heading to bed like Nursey did an hour ago, but he just flops down on the couch again, close enough to Leon that their shoulders are touching.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” Leon asks before he can change his mind. He suddenly doesn’t feel so tired anymore and pushes himself into a more upright position.

“Yeah, I think so. Why?” Connor yawns and runs a hand over his face. His hair is messy, only half covered by the hood of his sweater.

“I want to take you out to dinner. You know, because of my bonus and all that.”

Connor frowns and scoots away enough so he can angle his body sideways and look at Leon.

“Did that reporter ask you about this, too? Because you don’t have to.”

“I’d never have made it to the top 10 without you and I need to start spending the bonus some way, right?” He shrugs. It’s not like he’s trying to give Connor a new car or something.

“I probably wouldn’t have finished first without you,” Connor reasons. Leon thinks that Connor probably would’ve found a way without him, so he’s not entirely sure that is true.

“Fair enough, but I can still say thank you, right?”

Connor shakes his head a little. “We did this together, so there’s no need to thank me. Definitely not with a dinner or anything like that.”

Leon sighs in frustration. He didn’t expect Connor to be so reluctant about it and he half wishes he hadn’t asked at all. It was a stupid idea and he knows Connor well enough, he should have seen this coming. He doubts there will ever come a day that Connor doesn’t give everyone around him more credit for his success than they deserve.

“’kay,” Leon says and shrugs. He turns his head back to the TV and decides he’ll sit here for five more minutes and then leave. He should have gone earlier. They sit in silence for a few seconds until Leon feels Connor touch his arm to get his attention again.

“Don’t be upset,” Connor says, “I just don’t want you to think that your contribution to my thing is less important than the other way around. I couldn’t have done it without Patty and the other guys, but mostly I couldn’t have done it without you. I owe you just as much. If you want we can go get dinner to celebrate, but I’m definitely not going to let you pay.”

Leon’s not sure if it’s because he’s tired or because he can’t think of enough things that have made him happier than seeing Connor get his 100th point. It might be the image that flashes up again, of Connor sitting across from him at a table with a thick white tablecloth and fancy silverware, and that he wants it too much. Either way, his brain malfunctions.

“What if it was a date?”

Connor’s eyes widen in what must be shock, his mouth hanging open so that the prominent tip of his upper lip is more visible, and Leon scrambles to put more distance between them, his mind racing, trying to find a way to undo this.

“It’s not- I didn’t mean-,” he stammers, because his brain is still not working right and keeps screaming _shit shit shit_ at him before it finally comes up with _joke_. Connor still hasn’t said anything and he’s not stupid, so Leon thinks it has probably been too long to make it convincing, but it’s the only thing he’s got.

“You should see your face, man. Relax, I was just-”

“Don’t,” Connor says so quietly Leon nearly doesn’t catch it, but it has enough intensity for him to stop speaking. “Don’t take it back before I can say yes.”

It’s Leon’s turn to stare.

“You meant that, you- you weren’t just messing around, right?” Connor asks, and Leon can see what he’s doing, trying to give him an out if he still wants it. But he has half a sentence worth of brand new information that means a lot more to him than Leon is willing to admit and Connor is looking at him, eyes full of something that could maybe, possibly, be hope.

He swallows and nods, then shakes his head because Connor phrased it so weirdly and Leon can’t figure out what the right way to answer is, so he has to say, “Yeah, I- I meant it.”

“That’s- okay. Good. Good, because I want to. Not tomorrow, not with the playoffs and everything, we shouldn’t. But after? Whenever that is, I don’t know, but I really want to.”

Leon can feel his heart beating hard and he’s not sure what to do with his hands or what to say. He is stuck again thinking about Connor leaning in closer so Leon can understand him better, the light of a candle on the table reflecting in his eyes, saying something that’s making Leon’s stomach somersault, legs brushing under the table where no one can see.

“Okay?” Connor asks. Leon realizes Connor’s hand is back on his arm and he’s drawing small circles there with his thumb. It’s a small thing but it feels so intimate it sends a shiver down his spine.

“Okay, yes of course,” Leon says, stumbling over his words.

Connor smiles at him in the way that shows his teeth and gums and means he’s really, really happy. Leon grins back and it’s a little awkward because he doesn’t know what to say and neither does Connor, it seems. Leon doesn’t care much. Connor’s hand is still on his arm and they’re going on a date sometime soon, mid-June at the latest.

“We should probably go to bed,” Connor says. Eyes widening, he adds, “I mean- not that! I mean we should go to sleep. You should-”

Leon laughs. “I know what you meant, Con, keep breathing.”

Connor looks a little embarrassed but Leon thinks it’s endearing and it also means that Connor has thought about them in bed, together. Leon really, really has to leave now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Leon says. He wants to touch Connor and would normally clap him on the shoulder or his knee, but that seems ill-fitted for this moment. So he settles for another smile and stands up. Connor does, too, and follows Leon to the door which he’s not in the habit of doing. They both reach for the handle and pull their hands back at the same time.

Connor huffs a laugh and ducks his head, then opens the door. “See you tomorrow,” he says and closes the door quickly once Leon’s in the hall, for which Leon is grateful because he’s sure the smile on his face looks pretty dumb.

He can’t quite get rid of it until he’s in his bathroom brushing his teeth and it sneaks back when he climbs into bed. He knows he’s not going to fall asleep right away, so he picks up his phone and replies to some texts he’s gotten from his family and friends back home, who are slowly waking up and checking how the game ended. His sister has sent him a wall of dollar bills and he’s about to reply when a message from Connor pops up.

 **Connor** (1:47)

_glad you asked_

Leon’s heartbeat picks up again.


	2. Round 1, Game 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set the day after [Game 1](https://youtu.be/jEQ1NneAzQo) against the Sharks. The Oilers lost in OT on home ice and Connor had an assist. Connor's parents were in Edmonton for the game so that was nice.

Leon gets home and crawls into bed tired and disappointed. He has lost big games before and tells himself that this is not the end of the world. Hell, it’s not even the end of the playoffs for them, but he keeps replaying all the turnovers, each missed shot, every one of his passes that just weren’t good enough.

Connor was gone quickly after the game and Leon assumes it’s because he was meeting his parents somewhere. He didn’t get a chance to talk to Connor properly. It’s something he has gotten used to, discussing the game on the drive home. He likes to know what Connor is thinking, especially when a game hasn’t gone their way, when he blames himself and wonders why their line wasn’t clicking.

There’s an obvious answer to it this time and Leon tries his best to ignore it, but it’s on his mind as he falls asleep and hasn’t disappeared when he wakes up again after a restless night. He has breakfast and tries to distract himself watching TV, but it’s not working, so he packs everything he’ll need for practice later and goes upstairs to talk to Connor.

Nursey opens the door in nothing but his pajama bottoms and raises an eyebrow at him. “Dude, we don’t have to leave for like half an hour,” he says and scratches his naked stomach.

“Yeah, I know,” Leon says impatiently, “I just need to talk to Davo before we go.”

“He’s out. Having breakfast with his parents I think.” Nursey shrugs.

Leon stares at him as though he’s the problem here, not Leon’s stupid insecurity and Connor’s parents keeping him busy.

Nursey looks a little taken aback and says, “Just talk to him at the rink?”

Leon nods. “I’m gonna go in early since I’m, you know,” he says and lifts his bag by way of explanation. He doesn’t need Nursey picking up on anything and perhaps if he gets to the rink early, he can talk to Connor before practice.

Leon’s the first one there and he sits in his stall fiddling with his phone until Jordan and Ryan show up. Everyone else trickles in as he changes into his gear. Connor’s amongst the last people to arrive, which isn’t like him at all but Leon gets it. Connor doesn’t see his parents much and if Leon’s were here, he’d try to spend as much time with them as possible.

Connor sits down in his stall next to Leon’s and says hi. He’s a little breathless and when he pulls off his shirt, it messes up his hair. Leon allows himself a second to appreciate the sight.

“How was breakfast?” he asks and finishes taping his stick. Most of the other guys have already gone out to the ice but there are still too many people in the locker room.

“It was good. Across town though, took me forever to get here,” Connor replies and starts covering up again with a different long sleeve shirt and his shoulder pads. Practice is supposed to start in five minutes and Connor will barely make it in time. Leon supposes there is no reason for both of them to be cutting it close. That has to be why Connor says, “You don’t have to wait for me, I’ll be out in a few.”

At practice, Leon still can’t give a decent pass to Connor four out of five times, or control the puck when Connor gets it to him. It’s frustrating and at the end of it, he hammers the puck into the empty net a couple of times just so he doesn’t bring too much of it back into the locker room.

Connor gives him a look that Leon doesn’t know what to do with when he comes back in after everyone else has already started changing. He strips out of his practice jersey, balls it up and throws it on the pile in the middle of the room with more force than necessary. When he sits down to get out of his skates, Connor bumps their knees.

“You okay?”

Leon shrugs, then nods. “Yeah, just- are you going home after this?”

“Yeah, Mom’s making dinner.” Connor’s mouth contorts to the side where he’s chewing the inside of his lip the way he does when he’s thinking. “Do you want to come?”

Leon gives himself a second to process this by leaning down and pulling off his skates before he sits back up and asks, “Are you sure?” lowering his voice so that it’s as quiet as Connor’s always is.

“Yeah, Mom would love to meet you, and Dad’s a bit of a fan,” Connor says with a shrug that’s supposed to say _this is no big deal_.

“Is he?” Leon asks and laughs because he finds it hard to believe and it becomes a smile when he says, “Yeah, okay. I’ll come.”

Connor beams at him, and when he sends Leon a text at dinnertime, Leon is still thinking about it.

Connor’s parents turn out to be incredibly nice people. His mom ignores Leon’s outstretched hand in favor of a hug. Connor has his mother’s laugh. His dad takes Leon’s hand but also claps him on the shoulder, introduces himself as Brian and congratulates him on a successful season. It’s interesting to watch Connor around them, as he sets the table without being asked and helps his mom carry the food to the table. He talks more than he usually does, even when it’s just him and the guys on the team he’s most comfortable with, like Nursey – who joins them for dinner and who has known Connor’s parents for a few years now. Kelly is a great cook and Brian entertains them with stories of Connor growing up.

When Nursey heads out to meet someone Leon suspects is a date, Kelly and Brian also say their goodbyes, wishing them luck for the game tomorrow. Leon gets another hug that makes him miss his own mother in a way he hasn’t missed any of his family in a while. He’s quiet after they’ve left and as he helps Connor clear the table.

They migrate to the couch afterwards and Leon says, “Your parents are great.”

“Yeah,” Connor says with a smile. “They really liked you.”

Leon hums and reaches for the remote, but Connor is faster and places it out of Leon’s reach, raising an eyebrow while doing so. “What was going on with you earlier?” he asks.

Leon sighs. He was hoping that maybe Connor had forgotten.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m worrying too much,” Leon says, avoiding Connor’s eyes.

“Worrying about what?”

“The game was bad. Practice wasn’t great, either.”

“We’ll fix that tomorrow,” Connor says like it’s not even a fucking question, like he knows with certainty that they’ll win the next game. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re worried about yet.”

Leon tries to find the best way to phrase it, because he doesn’t want Connor to think that he no longer wants that date, but he can’t find the right words.

“Don’t you worry that maybe we messed things up between us? On the ice, I mean. Like it’s suddenly awkward, or we’re distracted, or something like that? Because we gave away some pretty big chances last night.”

“Oh,” Connor says and pauses while he considers the possibility. Leon finally finds it in him to look at Connor. “No, I’m not worried about that. It doesn’t feel awkward to me and I still think we should keep this on hold for a bit.” He looks at Leon like he’s searching for something in his eyes. “But if that doesn’t work for you, I guess we can figure something out.”

He says it as though there’s an option here for something, but Leon has no idea what that would look like and even if he wanted it, the last thing he’s going to do is pressure Connor into anything. So he shakes his head. “No, it works. I don’t know, Davo. Maybe I’m just nervous.”

“About us?”

“About playoffs, and…yeah.”  

Connor slides closer to him on the couch and gives him a little nudge with his elbow.

“Me, too. But I think that, no matter what happens with this- on the ice, we’ll be fine, we’ll make it work. And we can always talk. Alright?”

Connor has this way of making him feel like anything is possible, against all odds.

“Alright,” Leon says and means it.


	3. Round 1, Game 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after [Game 2](https://youtu.be/NHP2a26KhEg). The Oilers won, Connor had his first playoff goal and Leon laid a hit on a Shark, but that's not in the recap. In fact, credit goes to Kels for pointing it out and giving me a plot bunny to work with.

Leon takes his time to enjoy their win, talks to some of the guys for a bit and claps Zack on the shoulder more than once before he heads to the showers. He spends a minute just standing under the shower head, waiting for the heat of the room and the water to relax his muscles before he starts washing his hair.

His skin prickles in the way it does when someone’s watching him. It is not something he experiences often in here, where guys usually try not to stare, so he assumes it’s a momentary lapse and waits for the feeling to pass while he rinses his hair. When it doesn’t, he casually turns around.

It’s Connor, who snaps his head away quickly, turns off the water and leaves almost immediately.

It happens again when Leon comes out of the showers a while later in nothing but a towel. Connor’s at the other end of the room talking to Talbs, but his eyes follow Leon as he walks to his stall.

In the car, Leon takes the passenger seat and he knows Connor is staring at him from the back seat. Nursey is happily chatting away about something Leon is only half listening to. The other half of his brain is busy trying to figure out what’s going on with Connor.

Nursey drops them off in front of the building with their bags and drives on to park the car. Leon unlocks the front door and the prickling is back, so once they’re inside with the door closed behind them, Leon turns and blocks the way.

“What?” he asks and it comes out sharper than he intended. Connor’s eyes widen and he swallows, making Leon regret his tone. “You’ve been staring at me since we got off the ice,” he adds more gently.

“That was a nice hit on Braun,” Connor says.

“Yeah, so?”

Connor’s gaze drops to Leon’s lips and wanders down his throat and to his shoulder where Leon can still slightly feel the impact of the hit.

“Shit,” Leon says because he suddenly understands, “did that turn you on?”

Connor’s eyes snap back up to meet Leon’s, his lips pressed together like he’s holding back the answer that Leon wishes had been obvious to him a little sooner. All he wants is to press Connor up against the nearest flat surface and he can’t.

“I’m gonna-,“ Connor starts and comes closer. Leon panics for a split second, thinking Connor is going to do something anyway, but he only pushes past Leon, knocking him to the side with his bag. Leon watches him sprint up the stairs and disappear.

He follows at a slower pace and lets himself into his apartment. Connor’s reaction shouldn’t come as a surprise. Leon finds Connor attractive, too, but he hasn’t allowed himself to think about that very often. He does now, about Connor liking it when he uses his body on the ice, about other things he could do with it elsewhere that Connor might appreciate. When he is lying in bed, he wonders what it would be like to push Connor onto it, to pin him down with his weight and kiss him and fuck him.

His dick is half hard already and normally he’d use a cold shower to take care of it, because he used to be sure he would not be able to look Connor in the eye again if he’d jerked off thinking about him. It’s different now, so he lets the images run wild and wraps a hand around his dick. It doesn’t take long until it is hard and heavy, and Leon slows down, wants to make this last.

A stray thought enters his mind then, of Connor in his own bed a few floors up, stripped naked and stroking his dick, staying quiet so Nursey won’t hear him come with Leon’s name on his lips. Leon is suddenly much closer to the edge, heat building up inside him to the point where he can’t hold back anymore. He gasps, the sound loud in the silence of his bedroom, and comes hard.

“Fuck,” he says to himself and the darkness. This was so much better than jerking off to porn or the thoughts of random faceless men. He’s not sure he ever wants to go back to either and as he cleans up the mess on his stomach, he’s also not sure he’ll be able to look Connor in the eye the next day.


	4. Round 1, Game 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set the day after [Game 3.](https://youtu.be/vS2sG8Z8f7g) A win for the Oilers in San Jose, mostly thanks to Talbs. Since Connor and Leon's line was pretty much shut down, they were put on separate lines. (It's not something I traditionally like very much but I came around to it. More on that later.)

After the game, Leon spends a lot of time telling himself he’s okay with the line change. He’s not sure how much he believes Todd really thinks of this as a promotion, but it got them the win and he should be happy about it. A part of him still disliked seeing Slep play on Connor’s right wing. It’s not Slep’s fault in any shape or form, or anyone else’s for that matter. Leon only has himself to blame.

Practice the next morning is optional, so he skips it and sleeps in. He only wakes up because there’s a knock on the door. Unless they ignored the Do Not Disturb sign, it probably isn’t housekeeping, so he checks his phone and finds a text from Connor.

 **Connor** (14:03)

_dropping by after practice_

There’s another knock. Leon rolls off the bed and goes to open the door, bare feet padding lightly on the thick carpet.

“Hi,” Connor says. His mouth stays open like he is going to say something else, but hesitates. It takes Leon a moment to realize he’s forgotten to put on a shirt.

“You want to come in?” he asks instead. Connor nods and walks past him. Leon closes the door and follows. Connor looks around the room and asks, “Why do you always get a single?” like he’s never really thought about it before.

“Light sleeper. I hardly ever slept on road trips in Junior’s.”

Connor is quiet for a moment, then points at Leon’s chest. “You gonna put a shirt on anytime soon?”

Leon laughs. “Don’t like what you’re seeing?”

Connor looks pained and says “Leon,” with a sigh.

“Okay, okay,” Leon grabs a shirt from his suitcase and pulls it on. “What’s up?”

“You weren’t at practice.” It’s not exactly a question, but Connor pauses like he’s expecting an answer regardless.

“Yeah. I felt like I needed a little more rest this morning,” Leon says. Connor nods but doesn’t look convinced.

“I thought I’d come talk to you and see how you’re doing with the line change.” He goes for a nonchalant tone that doesn’t fool Leon.

“I’m good,” he says simply. He’d ask the question back if this wasn’t Connor, who can make things work regardless of who’s on his line.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Leon shrugs.

“You were freaking out on me a few days ago and now you’re fine?” Connor asks, his voice full of disbelief. Leon narrows his eyes at him.

“Is it so hard to believe that I can accept we had to switch things up to beat them and be professional about it?” he asks.

“That is not what I meant at all,” Connor says, raising his hands in an attempt to placate.

“So you’re talking to Zack and Drake next to make sure they’re happy with the change?”

Connor goes quiet. Leon feels vindicated for half a second until he realizes he’s being a jerk to the last person he wants to treat this way. He sits down at the edge of the bed, motions for Connor to join him and waits until he does.

“Okay, look. Of course I’m not happy about my play in the series so far. Sure, I like being on the first line. But I don’t need you to come in here and go all Captain Connor on me when you’re clearly not just checking in on me as a teammate.” He waits to see if Connor raises any protest and continues when he doesn’t, “I’m not lying to you here, I really am okay. I know this isn’t about us now, so whatever gets us a win I’m happy with.”

Connor turns his head to look at Leon with a small apologetic smile. “I just wanted to make sure. Should’ve heard you the first time you said it.”

“Don’t worry about me too much, babe,” Leon says and bites his bottom lip but not in time to stop the last word from coming out. He half expects Connor to bolt again, but his smile widens instead and he leans against Leon’s arm for a second.

“I like that,” he says quickly, quietly, before he stands up and puts some distance between them again. A warm feeling spreads through Leon’s chest.

“Do you feel like watching Nursey fail at ping pong?”

“Yeah I’m not gonna miss that,” Leon says with a laugh and gets up.


	5. Round 1, Game 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the dumpster fire that was [Game 4](https://youtu.be/8PJ03MS2etY). It was so bad I don't even want to watch the recap. The Oilers were already losing hard and somewhere in the second period Leon kinda lost it and got a major penalty and game misconduct for spearing. There was a hearing once they got back to Edmonton and he got off with a fine.
> 
> The only good thing to come out of this was probably Connor being sassy and pointing out that the series was tied in his post-game. 'My math says it's 2 - 2'. The Oilers are lucky their Captain knows math.

Leon makes sure he's showering when the guys come back in during intermission. He stares at the ugly tiles on the opposite wall and tries to drown out the noise that comes in from the dressing room with the running water. The temperature increases without his doing and it becomes scalding hot, but he doesn't move until he knows the last period has started. When he finally shuts the water off, the skin on his shoulders and neck is red.

He gets dressed and is already sitting at the very back of the bus, bag placed purposefully on the seat next to him, when the game ends. He has German rap playing loudly through his headphones and stares out the window as soon as people start getting on. He's glad the guys know to leave him alone right now but he also feels like he owes them an apology.

He's supposed to be one of the guys leading this team. It's bad enough his play has been mediocre lately, and now he goes and does this, lets frustration get the best of him and makes a fucking dirty play when that's not who he is or wants to be as a player.

Todd talks to him back at the hotel. Leon would be glad to have someone scream at him, but that's not how Todd coaches. He does mention the word suspension, preceded by 'possible' and followed by 'we'll see what happens'. Leon doesn't say much, only nods and feels nauseous when Todd dismisses him.

There'll be a hearing. He wouldn't be the first to get off with a fine for something like this and he doesn't have a reputation in the league, but these decisions seem arbitrary at best and if he misses the next game he won't get a chance to make up for it as soon as he'd like.

When he gets to his room, Leon turns on the TV even though he knows he shouldn’t and finds a channel that’s reporting on the game. The final result is a punch to the gut and the replay of his penalty makes him want to put his fist through a wall. He settles for throwing the remote on the couch with enough force it changes the channel.

He lies down on the bed and studies the ceiling for a while. Then his phone starts buzzing with a call from his Dad, who rarely gets in touch when they haven’t scheduled a call. Leon hates the thought of him waking up to the news that his kid has disregarded every lesson he ever taught on fair play and good sportsmanship in a game that was hardly going to get turned around. He stares at the contact image, a picture of him and his Dad at the draft, until the call goes to voicemail.

He wakes up the next morning still in his suit. He doesn’t remember making a conscious decision to go to sleep but it seems like eventually, his mind got tired of running in circles. Jay drops by his room to let him know a meeting has been set up with Player Safety later in the day, when they’re back in Edmonton. He tells Leon to lay low until they leave for the airport and since Leon has no intention of talking to anyone on the team yet, he does just that, showers and gets dressed in a suit that’s not wrinkled everywhere.

Leon isolates himself again when they get on the bus. He sees Patty eyeing him but, thankfully, he stays put. He has a tendency to say stupid shit and Leon knows it's well-meant, but he can't deal with it right now. He knows he has let his team down on a night that was already rough for everyone. They all look like they’ve woken up from a collective nightmare.

He makes sure he is amongst the last guys to get on the plane and slips into the first row that's empty. Kass is on the other side of the aisle, but his eyes are already closed and Leon thinks that if anyone understands what it's like to fuck up, it's him.

Leon closes his seatbelt and when he looks up, Connor shows up at the front of the plane. He’s talking to a flight attendant. Leon curses under his breath and slides down in his seat as much as he can with the limited legroom available. He was sure Connor had already boarded.

His attempt at becoming invisible fails. Connor stops when he reaches Leon’s row and waits for him to make room on the seat next to him, where he has parked is bag again. When Leon doesn't move, Connor rolls his eyes and unceremoniously stores the bag in the overhead compartment with his own. He sits down then, holding an ugly red blanket wrapped up in plastic, which he rips off.

Leon glares at him. He'd prefer sitting next to anyone else right now. He is miserable enough as it is, he doesn't need a reminder that he let Connor down most of all. His emotions are all tangled up between _you should do more for your captain_ and _you've been a terrible linemate_ and _what if this changes how he feels_.

"I don't want to talk," he says, warning heavy in his voice.

"We don't have to," Connor replies. He spreads the blanket over his body and closes his eyes.

Leon runs a hand over his face. He still wants to punch something so hard it'll hurt. A corner of Connor's blanket covers Leon's thigh and he moves to push it aside.

Connor catches his hand and doesn't let go when Leon startles and begins to pull back. With his eyes still closed, he throws the blanket further to Leon's side with his other hand so it covers more of him and hides where their fingers are now intertwined.

Connor brushes his thumb over the back of Leon's hand and Leon starts feeling a little less awful as he closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I'm glad he only got a fine (and boy do I hope he learned his lesson), I had some great ideas for what could've happened if he'd gotten suspended haha.


	6. Round 1, Game 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set the day after [Game 5](https://youtu.be/UIhCtnF26zY). The Oilers won at home and Leon redeemed himself with a good game and two assists, one of them on the OT winner.
> 
> (Quick note, Leon was probably fairly sick with the flu or something for the entire series and played through that.)

Leon goes to bed happy about the win and wakes up feeling like his head’s been packed in tight with bubble wrap. The cold he’s been trying to nip in the bud since they got back from San Jose kicks in with full force. His throat is scratchy, his nose is runny, and the cough he had before the game is worse. He drags himself to the kitchen and takes some of the meds he’s been given to deal with this before he crawls back into bed, wishing he didn’t have to get on a plane in a few hours.

He’s feeling a little better when he meets Connor and Nursey at the car, but Nursey says, “You look like shit,” anyway. Leon punches him in the arm.

“I’ll be fine,” Leon says before Connor can ask, “It’s just a cold.” Connor has concern written all over his face and it’s unnecessary, but Leon finds it endearing.

The air on the plane is too dry and makes everything worse. Leon is glad when they get to the hotel and he’s told to rest and keep his distance so nobody else catches it. He gets settled into his room, planning on sleeping as much as possible, only to find that he’s not tired enough.

He’d like to call his Dad – something he couldn’t face right after the hearing – but it’s the middle of the night in Germany. He texts him instead, asking if he’s free the next day. A message from Patty pops up in one of the group chats, a picture of Jordan and Ryan looking like idiots. They’re in the room they use to just chill and from what Leon can make out of the background, most of the younger guys are there. He doesn’t see Connor, though. Leon texts him.

_what are you up to?_

_Erie’s playing, watching in my room. u want company?_

_you want to get sick?_

_eh, I’ll risk it_

_don’t_

Connor calls him then.

“Stay in your room,” Leon says by way of greeting.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. You want to talk to me, anyway?” Connor asks.

“Sure.” With few exceptions, he always wants to talk to Connor. “How’s Erie doing?”

“Up 2 – nothing. They’ve been doing well.” Connor sounds pleased. Leon had no idea he still watched his old team play. He supposes it has something to do with Dylan Strome.

“Nice,” Leon says and makes himself comfortable on the bed.

“You missed dinner. Did you eat?” Connor asks. When Leon tells him no, he declares, “Hang on, I’ll order room service for you,” and does, not bothering to ask what Leon wants to eat. Leon listens to him talk to someone over the landline in his room.

“What if I didn’t want chicken soup,” Leon says once he has Connor’s attention again.

“You’re sick.”

 “I hate chicken soup.” Leon angles the phone away from his mouth because he has to cough.

“I don’t care. You’re sick, you’re eating chicken soup.”

“I’m not that sick.” He coughs again.

“Yeah, sounds super healthy to me,” Connor says.

Leon suspects the kitchen had to make chicken soup from scratch because it doesn’t arrive until an hour later. It comes with bread and a salad and Connor has ordered a pot of tea for him as well. Leon gets the phone from where he dropped it on the bed to open the door and sits down at the desk to eat.

The soup isn’t all that bad, but he complains to Connor regardless.

“Shut up and eat,” Connor says with a laugh and fondness in his voice, so Leon does and listens to Connor’s running commentary on the game while he eats. He loves Connor’s voice, the quiet ebb and flow of it, how he slurs half his words and sometimes trails off into silence. He’s content to keep listening when he’s done with dinner, so he just pours himself a cup of tea and takes it back to bed.

“Oh, _nice_ one, Stomer, well done,” Connor says loudly all of a sudden. Leon was starting to drift off a little and it jerks him awake. It’s a good thing too, because he’d set the teacup down on the mattress and that would’ve ended in disaster had he fallen asleep.

“He score?” Leon asks and carefully places the cup on the nightstand.´

“Yeah. Not really important, they were already up by 4, but still a nice goal,” Connor says. He sounds excited, like he hasn’t noticed Leon went all silent on him for the better part of the period.

“Can I ask something?”

“’Course.”

“You and Strome…was there ever something there?” He’s been wondering about this for a while. He sees the way Connor lights up when he talks about his friend, he’s seen videos of them in their draft year.

Connor is quiet for longer than Leon expected and he starts to think he shouldn’t have asked, shouldn’t have dropped this on him the way he did, so he says, “Sorry, it’s none of my business, forget about it.”

“No, just let me-” Connor says and the background noise of the game dies a few seconds later, replaced by silence at the other end of the line. Leon should say that Connor doesn’t need to tell him anything, but can’t bring himself to do it again.

“Okay,” Connor says, finally. “I guess the easy answer is - no.” Leon can practically hear Connor thinking so he keeps his mouth shut and waits. “The honest answer is that Dylan is straight. He knows, though. That I’m not.”

Leon doesn’t think Connor will say more and he doesn’t want to pry. He knows enough now to fill in the blanks. He gets the big picture. It’s a lot and he senses that there’s more to it, nuances he’s missing and maybe doesn’t want to know about at all. He doesn’t want to think about Connor getting his heart broken, even if nobody was to blame.

“Okay. Thanks for…you know,” Leon says.

“Sure,” Connor says and, after a moment, adds, “I’m over it, though. Been over it for a while, actually. If that’s what you were asking.”

“It wasn’t, but…that’s good to know. Yeah.” Leon doesn’t know what else to say and thinks he’s gone and made it awkward again, because normally people don’t have conversations about exes until they’re a little ways down the line.

“Did you ever?”

“Mh?”

“Have to get over someone, I guess,” Connor explains.

“No,” Leon says quickly. “I mean…I’ve fooled around with people. Guys and girls,” he clarifies, because Connor deserves to know that. “Just never anything serious, nobody who made me want to stick around the next day.” He winces a little. He knows what it sounds like.

“Oh,” Connor says. Nothing more.

“This isn’t that, Con,” Leon says, heart beating faster. It’s another thing he shouldn’t have said yet. He can’t have Connor thinking he’s not serious about this, though.

“That’s good to know,” Connor says, doing something to his voice that makes it deeper and Leon realizes he’s trying to sound like him.

“Forget it, you’ll never be able to imitate this brand of scratchy sore throat,” Leon says, laughing, and relieved that Connor knows how to handle it when Leon lets his feelings show, too much, too soon.

“Have you been drinking your tea?”

Leon eyes the cup on the nightstand that’s still half full. “I was going to, but then I almost fell asleep and nearly spilled everything.”

Connor chuckles. “Well, it’s late. We should probably hang up. I hope you’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“I didn’t eat your terrible chicken soup for nothing.”

“ _You’re_ terrible,” Connor laughs. “Good night,” he adds, softly.

“Night, babe,” Leon replies with a smile. He sends Connor a text, a picture of him drinking tea, and makes sure he finishes the cup before he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god I so hope they win tonight. Also [here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNuryOtmPzY) proof Leon definitely has a cold, poor boy.


	7. Round 1, Game 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after [Game 6](https://youtu.be/kf5-bzmc9P4), which the Oilers won, thus advancing to the next round.

Everyone is hanging out in the rec room when they get back to the hotel, even Oscar, even though he looks like he would collapse if Adam wasn’t keeping him upright. Leon is glad his flu was never this bad and that he’s starting to feel better. The room is a hum of content conversation, the TV on in the background and Patty playing music from his phone. Nursey and Nuge are back to playing ping pong again, still buzzing with energy.

Leon gets up from where he was sitting with Matty and Drake. Their conversation has turned into an in-depth discussion of some weird movie he hasn’t seen and doesn’t think he wants to. He walks over to the tables that have been shoved against the wall and is pouring himself a drink when someone’s hand settles against the small of his back. It stays there and he knows it’s Connor without having to turn around.

“How do you feel?” Connor asks, quietly, like he doesn’t want anyone to hear.

“I’m good. The wonders of modern medicine, I guess.” Leon empties his glass of water in one go and turns his head to look at Connor. There’s a strange focus to his gaze that Leon has seen before.

“Let’s get out of here.” It’s not a question. Leon nods anyway and sets the glass down while Connor scans the room. No one is paying attention to them, so he directs Leon to the door, hand still in place, and they slip out unnoticed. Connor slides his hand up Leon’s back, drapes his arm around Leon’s shoulders, a less intimate position that still lets him dictate the route they’re taking.

“You’re going to catch this thing,” Leon says as they’re waiting for the elevator. Connor gives him an unimpressed look.

“Honestly, I think I already have it and my immune system is kicking its ass, or I’ll be showing symptoms soon. Either way, I don’t really care much right now.”

They stand too close to each other in the elevator and Connor presses up against his back while Leon fumbles to unlock the door to his room. As soon as it springs open, Connor pushes him through and closes it behind them. There’s a loud click as the lock turns.

Leon takes a few steps back, swallows, asks, “What happened to waiting until playoffs are done?” He’s not sure why he does, it’s not like he doesn’t want this, like he hasn’t wanted it for fucking weeks and months. But he doesn’t want Connor to have any regrets, so Leon gives him a chance to remember all the reasons why he thought this was a bad idea.

Connor looks at him, and looks. “I don’t think I can,” he says finally, so quietly, his voice breaking up just a little. Just enough. He reaches out, catches the sleeve of Leon’s shirt and pulls. Leon could resist if he wanted to but he can’t even pretend he was ever going to say no.

So he goes with it, allows Connor to pull him in close, so close his eyes can’t focus in on anything anymore, feels Connor’s breath against his lips and inhales the smell of him, a mix of clean and lemon from his shower. He feels the softness of Connor’s shirt and his muscles underneath, hears the low thud when Connor’s back is pressed against the door.

“Con,” he whispers and Connor responds with a small movement that fits their lips together the way Leon knew they would. They stay like this for a few heartbeats before Leon brings his hands up to frame Connor’s face and really kisses him, mouth open, coaxing Connor to do the same.

And this is it, the only thing he wants to do for the rest of his life, right here.

Connor’s fingers are digging into his arms so hard it hurts. He’s not pushing Leon away but it still seems like something’s wrong, so Leon pulls back. Not far, but so he can ask, “Alright?” and search Connor’s face for any sign that this was too much.

“Yeah,” he says, bites his lip and dips forward to kiss Leon again as if to prove it. “I’m just- I’m trying not to go too fast.”

“Okay, but Connor? I think we’re on the same page here, so…don’t try so hard.” He glances down at where Connor still has his arms in an iron grip. When Connor catches on and lets go, Leon takes his hand and leads him to the bed, kicking off his shoes in the process.

Leon sits down at the edge of the bed in front of Connor and smiles up at him. Then, he pushes up the hem of Connor’s shirt and kisses his stomach, traces the muscles there with his hands as Connor moves to pull his shirt off entirely. He brushes his fingers through Leon’s hair, slides them down his neck and tucks at the neckline until Leon obliges and strips out of his own shirt.

Connor doesn’t waste any more time. He takes off his shoes and pants and pushes Leon back onto the bed to get him out of his, too.

Connor moves on top of him and Leon is half hard already. Connor’s dick presses against his thigh, and Leon flips them around, exploiting Connor’s surprise to do it. He kisses his way down Connor’s neck, lingering there to suck at the skin between two birthmarks, careful not to leave a mark.

He moves further down until he can hook his fingers in the elastic of Connor’s briefs. He noses at the skin above it and looks up.

“I wanna blow you,” he says and grins. Connor makes a small noise and his hand is back in Leon’s hair, giving him a little nudge. It’s all the encouragement Leon needs. He gets Connor’s briefs out of the way and takes a second to appreciate the way Connor’s dick looks, almost hard and curved to the left just a little. He touches it, wraps a hand around the head and gives it a few strokes until it is fills out. There’s more length to it than he expected.

Connor pushes at his head gently, so Leon goes for it, opens his mouth and takes in the tip, uses his tongue to make it wet with spit. Connor’s hand slips away from his head and when Leon pulls off with a popping sound, he sees it fisted into the sheets. Connor is leaking precome and Leon laps it up with his tongue before he opens his mouth wider to take all of Connor in.

He hasn’t done this in a while but he loves sucking dick. He likes that he can set the pace, likes his lips stretched wide, the taste of come in his mouth, the way his jaw aches after. Connor gasps and Leon really gets into it, makes it fast and sloppy because he wants to see Connor come undone.

It’s going great until Connor’s hips buck up and he fucks into Leon’s mouth, once. Leon loves that too, when he’s prepared for it. He isn’t now and so he chokes, has to pull off and draw in a shaky breath.

“Oh fuck,” Connor says, eyes wide. He scrambles to sit up and pull Leon towards him. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

Leon’s eyes are a little watery and he swallows once, twice and clears his throat.

“I’ll live,” he says and sighs when Connor still looks like he’s done something terrible. “Babe, it’s okay.” He straddles Connor and kisses him, makes sure he believes it, until Connor stops holding back and pulls at Leon’s briefs. Leon hitches his hips up and Connor slips them down, gets his hands on Leon’s dick.

“I want-“ Connor mumbles against Leon’s lips. Leon lifts his head. Connor seems unsure and that’s not something Leon sees often. Connor usually knows what he’s doing, but maybe that’s because most of what he does involves hockey.

“Yeah?”

Connor’s blinks slowly, takes a deep breath, and says, “I want you to fuck me.” He brushes his thumb over the tip of Leon’s dick and Leon feels like he’s choking again.

“Are you-” he starts, but Connor wouldn’t have said it if he wasn’t sure. Leon’s brain is working too slowly because Connor’s hand is still moving between his legs. Once he manages to form a coherent thought, he says, “Okay, okay. Con, we don’t have condoms, we don’t have lube.”

“What if…we could do without, maybe?”

Leon groans and presses his face against Connor’s neck, unable to look at him. He needs a few seconds to just breathe against Connor’s collarbone and he wishes Connor would stop jerking him off even though it feels fucking amazing.

“Leon?”

“Have you done this before?” Leon asks, voice muffled because he’s not ready to meet Connor’s eyes again. Connor’s hand finally stops moving and Leon feels him swallow, then shake his head.

“Okay,” Leon says, kisses Connor’s jaw, the corner of his lips. Then he sits up. “We can talk about whether or not we need condoms sometime,” he says and Connor looks a little embarrassed, the expression replaced quickly when Leon continues, “but _trust_ me, you don’t want to do this without lube. Not for the first time.” Connor gawps at him, eyes wide.

“You- are you telling me you like…,” he trails off.

“That I like getting fucked?” Leon grins. “Yeah, I do. Sometimes. It can be really good,” he says and leans down so his mouth is next to Connor’s ear, lowers his voice and murmurs, “I’ll make it so good for you, babe, you’ll love it. But not tonight. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Connor kisses him, bites into his bottom lip, sucks on it and starts stroking Leon’s dick again with new urgency. Leon is already too close to the edge, still thinking about what he’ll do to Connor, imagines his hole slick and red and ready for him. He moans into Connor’s mouth, licks into it, and comes on Connor’s hand and stomach.

Connor looks very pleased with himself and Leon laughs at him, shakes off the need to collapse into a pillow and fall asleep. He slides down, uses a corner of the sheets to wipe his come off Connor, and settles in between his legs. Glancing up, he sees Connor doesn’t look so smug anymore.

“I’ll keep still.”

Leon places his hands on Connor’s hips. “No need,” he replies with a grin.


	8. Round 2, Game 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after game 1 against the Ducks.

Leon asks if he wants to hang out after the game and Connor panics, tries to remember which excuses he’s already used and comes up blank. He rubs a hand over his face to buy a little more time, runs it through his hair and figures he can’t have gone with post-game exhaustion yet because there haven’t been any games since they had sex.

“I think I’m just gonna crash,” he mumbles. Leon smiles at the yawn Connor fakes and ruffles his hair. Connor watches him walk away, relieved. It seems like he hasn’t realized Connor’s been avoiding him for the past three days, always making sure they’re not left alone in a room.

He has lost track of Nursey, but he’s not in their room when Connor gets in and he’s grateful for it. He doesn’t want to deal with how Nursey gets after a game, happy and loud and too chatty. Connor gets ready for bed trying hard not to think about anything in particular, focuses on where his body aches instead. There are bumps and bruises practically everywhere, most of them curtesy of Kesler, who was even more of a pest than Connor expected him to be. Connor’s happy to take it though, if it means more open ice for the rest of his team.

When he’s in bed, he picks up his phone to check his messages. He sees a text from Leon on his lock screen, a sleepy face emoji followed by a blue heart. Connor doesn’t open the message, switches his phone into flight mode instead and turns off the lights.

He is a fucking coward and a hypocrite. He tries to shut his mind off and just go to sleep, but his thoughts keep circling back to it. Leon deserves better, deserves more than a clap on the shoulder after playing an amazing game, deserves Connor to be a grown-up who talks about his issues instead of running the other way.

He’s freaking out. He’s been freaking out ever since he snuck back into his own bed after their last win against San Jose, memory of Leon’s lips wrapped around his cock still fresh and overwhelming. It hit him then that they were really doing this and as it turns out, he’s not as level-headed about it as he thought he was. Flirting with Leon and planning a date on a day vaguely in the future was easy. Sex with Leon was something else entirely and it’s not that Connor regrets it, exactly, but he wishes it hadn’t happened like this, too early because he was too eager and pushing himself too far. He’s glad Leon was thinking clearly enough to say no to things Connor would have been in no way prepared to handle.

And what’s worse is, he’s not too sure he even knows what he’s doing anymore. He’s never imagined dating anyone because he assumed nobody would want to be his little secret, hidden away somewhere while he lived out his career pretending to be straight. He hasn’t considered being with a teammate since the disastrous season he spent falling in love with Dylan. They managed to salvage their friendship but the credit for that goes to Dylan for being pretty great about the whole thing. Connor vowed he wouldn’t fall for another player ever again, but he didn’t really stand a chance, not with Leon.

None of that changes the fact that he’s playing in the NHL and no stick covered in pride tape will ever convince him he could come out as an active player in this league. He can’t imagine Leon thinking any differently about this and wonders if he really wants to live that way, when there’s a possibility Leon could find a nice girl to fall in love with if he just waits until it happens. Connor knows it’s a shit thing to think, but sometimes he wishes he even had that option.

He hears the door to the room open and Nursey saying goodnight to someone. It’s Leon who replies, “Night, Nursey” before he goes on to his own room a few doors over. Connor presses his face into the pillow and doesn’t react when Nursey closes the door and whispers his name to see if he’s still up. He listens to him stumble his way to the bathroom through the dark. Nursey tries to be quiet but that has never been his strong suit, so Connor focuses on every small sound until they drown out his thoughts long enough for him to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, POV change! Also I finally changed the summary because gusryder said I should. Eventually I'll add tags haha.


	9. Round 2, Game 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set a day after game 2.

Connor sleeps terribly after the game and wakes up exhausted. Nursey is gone, his suitcase resting at the foot of his bed already packed. It takes Connor forever to get dressed and pack up his own stuff and there’s a knock before he’s done. He walks to the door and looks through the spyhole.

It’s Leon, distorted by the lens, his head disproportionally big. He’s already in a suit, hair styled perfectly and Connor holds his breath and watches as he shifts from one foot to the other, looks down at his phone, then up at the door. It seems like an eternity passes before Leon turns and walks away. Connor stays where he is, staring at the dark wood in front of his face, and hates himself for not opening the door.

When he arrives at the breakfast room he gets his food from the buffet first. From there, he scans the tables and finds Leon sharing one with Slep, Looch and Patty. There’s an empty spot where Nuge and Ebs are sitting two tables over and Connor heads there, says good morning to everyone he passes. Leon catches his eyes somehow, in spite of Connor’s attempt to avoid just that, and his eyebrows twitch up quickly. There are half a dozen places Connor could have gone before coming in for breakfast, so he convinces himself that Leon can’t know he was still in his room earlier. He slides into the seat next to Ebs with a quick ‘Hi’ and starts eating his eggs.

He sits next to Cam on the bus and involves him in a conversation that he keeps going until they’re on the plane, giving Connor a valid reason to stay paired up with him for the flight, even if they stop talking during take-off. Connor closes his eyes and drifts in and out of sleep for a while, until someone bumps against his arm on their way back to their seat and Connor blinks his eyes open. He takes a look around and regrets it instantly when he finds Leon watching him with a contemplative gaze. Connor forces the corner of his mouth up into a quick half smile and closes his eyes again.

Back in Edmonton, they’re dropped off at the rink. Connor climbs in the back of Darnell’s jeep and looks out the window, not participating in the easy conversation Leon starts. He stares out the window and is glad he’ll get to spend the night in his own bed. They get home and walk up the stairs and Connor lets his guard down for a second too soon, doesn’t realize Leon has followed them up past his floor.

Leon catches his sleeve and says, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” He makes it sound casual and it doesn’t seem like Nursey gives it any thought as he heads on into their apartment, but Connor doesn’t have to look at Leon to know he’s screwed. He fidgets and drops his bag to the floor, presses his lips together and meets Leon’s eyes.

“Are you okay?” Leon asks, voice gentle and concerned. So far, all Connor has done is try to avoid this conversation and he has no idea how to respond.

“You’re not sick, or- you’re not playing injured, right?” Leon still has his index finger hooked in Connor’s sleeve, lightly brushing against the inside of Connor’s wrist.

“No, I’m fine. Just tired.” He pulls his hand back and shoves it into his jacket pocket because his pulse is too high and he’s scared Leon can feel it somehow. Leon’s hand hangs in the air between them for a moment before he drops it to his side.

Leon has that contemplative look on this face again and then something clicks. Connor sees it in his eyes and wants to be anywhere but here. “Did I do something wrong?” Leon asks, quietly and like he’s unsure of himself. Connor hates it, hates that he’s caused this, hates that he _still_ doesn’t know what to say.

“Connor?”

Connor shakes his head. “It’s not you at all.”

“Okay, but…then what?” Leon almost sounds like he’s pleading now, clearly confused and trying to understand.

“I just need some space, okay?” Connor says and it comes out all wrong, irritated and defensive, the way he gets sometimes when a reporter is asking annoying questions and he’s running out of patience. He can see that he has finally managed to hurt Leon, who swallows and retreats a step. The expression on his face makes Connor want to take it all back.

“I-“

Leon cuts him off. “You can have all the space you need,” he says, voice flat. He turns away and walks down one flight of stairs to his own apartment.

Connor stands there, mouth still open, and listens to the jingling of keys and the door falling shut.


	10. Round 2, Game 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set on the two off days after game 3, with a special guest appearance by Dylan Strome.

Connor feels surprisingly calm after the loss. It's just another thing chipping away at him, complete with a line change he was simultaneously glad for and upset about and the last ten minutes spent sitting on the bench, watching their time run out. In a strange way, at least the final score matches his mood and their performance. He's not sure he wants to win this series and have to admit they didn't really deserve it in the end.

Connor hasn't spoken to Leon off the ice. He's opted out of carpooling with Connor and Nursey in favor of taking his fancy new car out to the rink. Communication on the ice works well enough without too much actual talking and afterwards they sit next to each other in the dressing room in silence. In a way, it makes everything easier.

It also makes everything worse.

He gets through the day at the rink, where they're busy with video analysis and figuring out how to avoid another disastrous game. It's necessary and Connor usually enjoys dissecting plays and finding where things went wrong, but it's exhausting now and when he gets home, he tells Nursey he's going to bed and disappears inside his room.

He takes a nap and wakes up to his phone buzzing multiple times in quick succession. When he checks, his notifications are flooded with congratulatory messages. He slides them off the screen one by one until he finds the NHL notification about the Hart nominations and sees his name.

He knows everyone expected him to be amongst the finalists so it doesn't quite come as a surprise, but since playoffs started he hasn't given it too much thought. It's nice to get the recognition, but he hasn't won the award yet and already dreads the media questions he'll have to answer tomorrow about what all this means to him.

His parents call and so does his brother. Most of the guys have sent texts and Nursey pokes his head in with a big grin and promises to cook dinner later to celebrate. He says he'll invite Leon and Connor nods, hoping that maybe Leon will show up and at the same time terrified of the possibility. He checks his messages to see if he missed one from Leon but finds nothing.

Dylan's face pops up on his screen with a video chat request and Connor has been wanting to talk to him anyway, so he picks up.

"Davooo!" Dylan shouts, smiling from ear to ear and Connor laughs because Dylan looks ridiculous with his awful blond hair and sad excuse of a playoff beard. "Congrats, dude. You deserve this so much."

"Thanks, buddy. Congrats on making the final, that's so awesome. I'm happy for you guys!"

"Thanks! It's pretty great. So, you taking me to California when you collect your awards?"

Connor smiles weakly. "You wanna watch me lose to Crosby?"

"No way! Crosby's got enough trophies already, it's gonna be you, man. I know it.”

Connor shrugs. He figures everyone who's nominated has a shot to win and he's in excellent company with Crosby and Bobrovsky. "I guess we'll see. Right now I just want to make it through this round in one piece."

Dylan looks skeptical. "Why aren't you more excited about this?" They don't talk as much as they used to and sometimes Connor forgets how well Dylan knows him. And he figures maybe he can talk to him about this, he's just not sure he wants to.

"I'm excited," he says unconvincingly and Dylan nods like he was expecting that answer.

"Davo, come on." Dylan sounds a little offended. "I know something's up and you know I won't stop asking, so like - just talk."

Connor is quiet and Dylan matches his silence with a stare that clearly conveys he won't back down. Connor knows how persistent he can be. It's what made him confess his feelings late one night on a long road trip when Dylan wouldn't accept any longer that Connor couldn't give him a reason for his odd behavior.

"I slept with someone," Connor says, forcing the words out quickly to get it over with. Talking about things like this isn't something he had much reason to until now and he already dislikes it.

Dylan frowns at him. "Okay? Good for you, dude. So what's the problem?"

Connor bites his lip and looks away, unsure of where to start or how to explain himself.

"Oh shit, he's on the team, isn't he." Dylan's eyes are open wide and Connor can't tell if it's in shock or surprise. "Who is it?"

"I'm not telling you," Connor says. He's not going to out Leon, even if he would trust Dylan with his life.

"It's not Nugent-Hopkins, is it? Always thought he might be-."

"I really don't think so," Connor says and rolls his eyes.

"So not him. Is it-"

"Stop asking," Connor says with just a hint of warning because Dylan needs to realize he can't keep pushing this.

"Okay, fine. So you fucked one of your teammates and now – what? It's weird? Is he being a dick about it?" The way he says it makes Connor think Dylan would probably fly out to Edmonton and punch Leon if Connor asked him to.

"Fuck no. He...he's been great." Connor has imagined a thousand ways that this could all go terribly wrong and some of his fears have been living in his head for much longer than he's known Leon. The part of him that relies on reason and has helped him make smart decisions all his life is telling him to pull the plug while he still can.

"I just, I don't know. What if this fucks everything up? What if someone finds out? What if we break up at some point and it affects the team?"

"Wait- what? Break up, as in, you're dating?"

"No, we're not, or- not yet, I guess." Connor's chest hurts a little at the thought that he's probably gone and ruined their chances of giving that a shot.

"But you want to."

"Doesn't matter what I want, I don't think I can."

Dylan doesn't say anything for a while. Connor recognizes his expression as the one he wears when he's thinking something through. It doesn't make an appearance often, so Connor is willing to wait.

"Alright, so- to me it kinda seems like this is the best possible scenario for you? Like, okay. He's not some rando who'll fuck with your career 'cause that'd be self-sabotage. He's not at the other end of the country. He probably gets all the shit you go through. I mean, yeah it could go wrong, but it doesn’t have to? Also, what are you gonna do, stay single until you stop playing?"

Connor blinks at him and Dylan just shakes his head in disbelieve. "Dude, that's just fucking sad."

And that’s not news to Connor, so he says, “Yeah.”

"So don't be dumb and lonely and sad," Dylan says and shrugs.

"It's not that easy, Dyl."

"Yeah, no shit. I still think I'm right, though."

Connor wants to yell at Dylan because what does he know, he’s not gay, he’s not playing in the NHL, he doesn’t understand, but none of that is Dylan’s fault and he’s not to blame for Connor’s inability to deal with his shit, either. So Connor swallows it and doesn’t say anything and Dylan sighs very audibly and announces he needs to go now because he’s got people coming over.

“Think about it, yeah?” he says instead of goodbye and leaves Connor to stare at a black screen.

Leon doesn’t show up for dinner.

“Said he was meeting someone already,” Nursey says with a grin, “Wouldn’t say who, though. Probably out on a date.” Connor loses all appetite. It’s a shame, too, because Nursey is a good cook.

It takes everything out of him not to ask Leon at practice the next day. He has no right, not after pushing him away, not when he’s been mulling over the things Dylan said and still hasn’t figured out what to do.

The Ted Lindsay nomination comes in later that afternoon and Connor’s going through his messages, opens Leon’s chat, the blue heart still the last message received, and Connor fucking _misses_ him, misses talking to him about hockey and making fun of Nursey’s driving and listening to stories about Leon’s family. He wants to share this with him, wants Leon’s joy and pride to fuel his excitement over these nominations.

He’s still staring at the screen when three dots suddenly appear in a discreet grey bubble. They’re gone too soon and Connor waits for them to return, for a message to pop up, for anything that’ll proof this wasn’t some glitch or something he imagined. He waits for a minute, for five, then ten, takes a shower, brushes his teeth and changes before he checks again. Nothing.

 He’s starting to resent that blue heart and it’s all he sees when he closes his eyes and falls asleep.


	11. Round 2, Game 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after game 4.

It’s late and Connor is caught up in that place where it’s impossible to fall asleep because he’s fixating on how much he needs the rest. His brain won’t stop running in circles around the game, the series, Leon. He can’t find a comfortable position in his bed, he’s too warm under the covers and even when he kicks them aside, the room is too stuffy. He sighs, gives up on sleep for now, and gets up. There’s a bottle of water on the nightstand that he takes with him before he steps through the big sliding glass doors out on the balcony.

He breathes in deep and enjoys the cool night air on his too-hot skin. He looks out at the city lights in the darkness and up at the moon and tries to clear his head, think of nothing long enough for fatigue to take over. He leans forward against the railing, metal bar digging into his forearms, and opens the water bottle, drinks almost all of it in big gulps. He fumbles with the lid when he moves to get it back on and it falls, gone too quickly for Connor to catch it still.

He looks down into the darkness and finds that it is not as dark as he expected it to be because the lights are on in the windows of the apartment below. Leon’s apartment.

Connor wonders if Leon is still awake, and why. Wonders if he really went on a date that night, or if Nursey was just being Nursey. Wonders if he wants to talk to Connor as badly as Connor wants to talk to him. Wonders, for the hundredth time, if maybe Dylan has a point and finally accepts that he probably does.

He stands in front of Leon’s door barefoot and belatedly realizes he forgot to take his keys. There’s no turning back unless he wants to wake up Nursey or sleep in the hallway, so he knocks and hopes that Leon didn’t just forget to turn off the lights.

Leon opens the door. He is wearing a soft-looking shirt that’s a little too tight around his broad shoulders and he looks tired, but not like he just woke up. He seems surprised to see Connor, but he doesn’t say anything, just runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to make it behave.

“Can I come in?”

Leon leads him to the living room and sits down on the couch. The TV is on, a random episode of House Hunters playing. Leon mutes it and looks at Connor, obviously waiting for him to say something.

“How come you’re still up?” Connor asks because once again, he doesn’t know where to start. He sits down next to Leon, leaves a space between them that he doesn’t want anymore.

Leon raises an eyebrow at him and points at the TV. “Fantastic programming,” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Connor looks away. It’s probably for the best that Leon won’t let him pretend things are okay.

“I got scared,” he says to his knees. It’s the best way to summarize what’s been going on with him for the past week and he’s not sure he wants to go into the specifics right now. “I’m really sorry,” he adds. It hangs there between them and Connor knows it’s not enough, wishes he knew how to give it more weight so Leon will understand.

“Are you done being scared?” Leon asks softly and Connor looks up because he was expecting him to be angry and hurt, but Leon doesn’t seem to be any of that. He just cocks his head to the side and gives him a small smile. Connor wants to kiss him.

“Mostly, I think.” He hasn’t suddenly forgotten that in the worst case, this could cost him his career. He just needed some time to realize that being with Leon might be worth the risk. That he doesn’t want to be alone for the next 10 to 15 years of his life. “Why are you not mad at me?”

“I was, for a little bit. Not because you needed some time, but just- I wish you had talked to me, you know? Instead of avoiding me.” Leon says calmly and shrugs. “I think I understand, though. I freaked out, too.”

And Connor remembers that, remembers how he was so sure nothing would ever miss them up so badly that they couldn’t play hockey together anymore. Remembers telling Leon that they could talk about stuff. He feels so stupid for not doing that.

“I should have talked to you, I wanted to talk to you. But I just had to wrap my head around some things.”

“That’s okay. You needed some space and that’s fine. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything, that’s the last thing I want and I’m sorry if I did that, somehow.”

Connor shakes his head quickly, because God, no. “You haven’t, at all. Please don’t think that.”

“Okay,” Leon says and he’s smiling again.

This time, Connor scoots closer and leans in slowly, and Leon’s still smiling, so he brushes a kiss against his lips. Leon’s beard has gotten longer and it drags against Connor’s, tickles the corner of his mouth until Leon shifts to the side and pulls Connor in, fits him between his outstretched legs and wraps his arms around him.

Connor’s not a small guy, but Leon’s body is wider and bigger and Connor relaxes against him, happy to sink into a slow, deep kiss while Leon holds him close. He could have been doing this all week instead of being an anxious mess, but maybe he needed to learn that lesson, that this feels safe and like home. That he’s this far gone and he’ll have to ride it out, regardless of what the outcome will be.

“Why were you up, anyway?” Leon asks after a while, drawing circles on Connor’s back with his thumb. Connor yawns into the fabric of Leon’s shirt in response, because he is sleepy now that his thoughts have settled.

“Just thinking too much. About the game, and some other stuff.” He noses at Leon’s neck, kisses it lightly.

“Like what?” Leon asks, turning his head to the side to give Connor more room. Connor hesitates, because he doesn’t think Nursey was right at all now, but maybe he should ask regardless.

“Like…okay, Nursey thinks you went on a date Tuesday.”

Leon laughs, and yeah, Nursey was definitely wrong.

“And that bothered you so much you couldn’t sleep?” Leon’s still chuckling as he presses an affectionate kiss to Connor’s temple.

“Well, yeah,” Connor says, because he might as well admit to it. “Would you like it if I went out with some random guy?”

“Fuck, no!” Leon not laughing anymore and he pushes Connor back gently, far enough so he can actually look at his face. “Okay, I got dinner with Drake and Benny that night but I couldn’t tell Nursey or he would’ve made us come to your place. And for the record, I really, _really_ don’t want to date random guys.”

“Neither do I,” Connor says quietly and that gets him another kiss that leaves him breathless and wanting more, but he’s tired and they have a long day ahead, so he settles back against Leon’s chest and closes his eyes.

“Not to be needy, but you haven’t said a single thing about the trophies you probably think I’ll win,” he says, because he still wants to talk, catch up on all the things he couldn’t ask and tell Leon.

Leon huffs and stretches to get his phone off the coffee table. “I so did. I just didn’t send you some messages I meant to. Do you have your phone?”

Connor shakes his head.

“Well, here,” Leon says and the light before Connor’s eyelids is uncomfortably bright as Leon holds his phone up to Connor’s face. He turns his head to the other side to escape it.

“Read them to me.”

“I don’t think so. I’ll send them to you and you can read them tomorrow. The short version is, I am so thrilled for you,” Leon says and it sounds so genuine that Connor’s heart hurts, but in a good way.

“We should go to sleep.”

“I forgot my keys,” Connor says.

“Do you want the spare key, or sleep here?” Leon asks so easily, like either would be equally fine, that Connor has to kiss him again. He forgot that Leon had their spare key.

“Sleep here.”

He wakes up when Leon’s alarm goes off, pressed up against his side. Leon makes use of the snooze button and turns to hold Connor close, who buries his face against Leon’s neck and slides a hand underneath his shirt, fingers splayed against the warm skin there, until they really need to get up.

Connor makes coffee while Leon digs through his kitchen drawers to find the spare key. When he gets back to his room to pack for their flight to Anaheim, he has about 20 messages from Leon and he sits down on his bed to read them even though he doesn’t have the time.

One reads: _MVP! Babe, I’m so proud of you. You deserve this so much. Congrats!!!_

Another: _Carlyle is a fucking dick_

There’s _: You’re gonna need a new shelf for all those trophies. We should take Lars and Klef to IKEA and eat Köttbullar._

And: _I fucking miss you_

Connor scrolls down until he’s read the last message and texts: _thanks for these_

The reply pops up quickly. _Start packing, babe, my car’s fast but we’re gonna be late._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been suggested that all the angst was causing the Oilers to lose and because I'm suddenly a superstitious person, I've fixed that. They better win tonight!


	12. Round 2, Game 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set right after game 5.

Connor looks at his bruised and beaten teammates as they slowly file out of the bus. He’s exhausted and he’s fucking tired of losing like this – on lucky bounces that make them fall apart and goals that scream interference, at least from where he’s standing – but he straightens up, stands taller and paints his face with grim determination. He tries to give each of the guys a pat before they disappear to their rooms or to get checked out by the medical team, grabs Talbs to tell him he did good, seeks out Lars and Oscar, Rusty and Benny to make sure they know they did one hell of a job stepping up with Andrej out.

He finds Nursey pacing through their room like his legs aren’t killing him right now when they must be after the minutes he put up. Connor quickly realizes there’s nothing he can do to make him feel better about anything. Nursey doesn’t need a hug or a pep talk when he’s this upset. He needs to be alone until it passes and he can be himself again.

Connor steps in his way and grips the front of his shirt to make sure he won’t just get brushed aside. “I’m gonna give you some space and sleep at Leon’s tonight,” he says and doesn’t care if Nursey knows there’s no spare bed in Leon’s room, “but you need to rest, right the fuck now.”

Nursey glares at him and yanks Connor’s hand away. Connor doesn’t resist, but he stares back, unrelenting, and says, “I need you fresh for the next game.” He phrases it that way on purpose because Nursey’s loyalty to him runs deep and he knows how to use that if he has to.

Connor turns away and gets his things from the bathroom, throws them into his bag with the few clothes he unpacked earlier. Nursey’s still on his feet, but he’s standing still at least and Connor will take it. “Rest,” he says again before he leaves.

Leon doesn’t open the door right away when Connor knocks. He frowns because it’s unlikely that Leon’s already asleep, so he sends a text saying it’s him at the door. A minute later, Leon lets him in but he turns around immediately and heads back to his bed. Connor watches him sit down on the floor where his phone is, and Connor assumes he was sitting there before.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, closes the door and drops his bag next to Leon’s. He knew Leon was upset after the game, but Connor lost track of him in the locker room chaos and just assumed he was okay, because Leon usually is.

“Hey,” he says and sits down next to Leon, so close their arms and legs are touching. “How’s your back?”

“Scoring goals for the other team,” Leon says. He sounds incredibly bitter and disappointed.

“You can’t think like that. This stuff happens, nothing you can do about it,” Connor says quietly, leans into Leon a little to be closer to him.

“I can’t believe we lost. I thought we had it. I really did.” Connor glances at him. Leon is staring at a nondescript spot on the wall.

“I know, but you can’t let it get to you like this.”

Leon makes a frustrated noise and turns to look at Connor, eyes dark with anger. “How the fuck can you be so fucking calm all the time? We fucking lost!”

And Connor may have an even temper, but he still works hard at keeping it together for everyone else because that’s his job, so he doesn’t need this shit from Leon right now. He doesn’t want to explain that he’s calm because he believes in his team so much or that he knows they can turn this around and that he’ll pour everything he has into winning the next game.

Most importantly, he doesn’t want to fight. He kisses Leon, moves so he’s kneeling next to him and takes his face between his hands. He is patient with it, just keeps pressing small kisses against Leon’s lips, the corner of his mouth and the spot under his eyes where his skin seems too thin sometimes. He works his hands into Leon’s hair and massages his skull with small, rotating movements of his fingers.

It takes a few moments, but then Leon trembles and Connor can feel anger and tension bleeding out of him as he opens his mouth and allows Connor to kiss him properly.

“Okay?” Connor asks after a little while, rests his forehead against Leon’s because he doesn’t want to pull away.

Leon sighs, but gives a small nod.

“Good. Let’s get changed, I’m sleeping here tonight.”

“What about Nursey?”

“I can’t kiss him better, so you’re stuck with me.” Connor thinks he sees a little amusement flash in Leon’s eyes, but he still mostly looks sad and tired.

They get ready for bed and when Connor crawls in, he fits himself against Leon and kisses him until he can’t taste toothpaste anymore, until his lips tingle pleasantly, until Leon melts into him and they both fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. I'm really sad, [but at least there's this](https://twitter.com/BradyTrett/status/860748598979379200). And also [here's Connor being an amazing Captain ~~/Genius~~](https://capmcdavo.tumblr.com/post/160361972892/connor-is-confident-the-oilers-will-be-able-to).


	13. Round 2, Game 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after game 6, aka that time everything was Leon and nothing hurt.

Connor has to hang back when Leon makes it a hat trick. He's not one hundred percent sure he won't do something extremely stupid if there's a moment of just them crashing into each other and holding on and he'd rather not risk it. He settles for getting the puck, wraps his hand around it firmly and joins the guys, beams at Leon and opens his glove to show him why he's late to the party.

Of course he still tries to get a point, but he could probably be trying much harder. Would, too, if they weren't up by six. As it is, he's content to let this night be Leon's. He deserves it, because no matter how often Connor tells the world that Leon is incredibly underrated, no matter how well Leon plays, he's still in Connor's shadow somehow. Connor thinks it bothers him more than it does Leon, but watching him play his natural position at center just reminds him again of how fucking good Leon is. It's there for everyone to see, now.

The game ends and it's not just a win, it's a lot more, it's proof that they belong here, that they can push back and excel on the ice when it counts. Connor is proud of every single person in their dressing room.

Patty invites them over for dinner and some of the guys are quick to say yes. Connor leans to the side, into Leon's space, and whispers "Say you're too tired," a second before Patty turns his attention to them. There's a big smile on his face, he's clearly expecting them to come along, and Connor feels a little guilty, but he's rarely selfish and he just doesn't want to share Leon tonight.

He's left it up to Leon anyway, who hesitates for a moment, but then gives the excuse and doesn't cave when Patty tries to win him over with an even bigger smile. Connor says he'll have to drive Leon home because they came in his car, that he'll be there the next time. Patty doesn't try to convince him to come - he knows that Connor won't change his mind.

"Lame, Connor. How am I supposed to get home?" Nursey asks, pouting at him.

Connor rolls his eyes. "Benny," he calls to get Matt's attention. "Can you drop Nursey off at home when you leave Patty's?"

"Yeah, sure," Matt calls back.

"Problem solving skills are important, man," Connor tells Nursey, who gives him a weird look, but shuts up and goes back to his stall to get dressed. Connor doesn't have the patience to figure out what's bugging him right now.

When they get home, Connor follows Leon into his apartment unasked.

"You want to eat something?" Leon heads into the kitchen without waiting for an answer. He opens the fridge and gets two bottles of water, turns around and asks, "Why didn't you want to go to Patty's?"

Connor walks up to him slowly and takes the bottles out of his hands, places them on the counter carefully before he meets Leon's eyes.

"'Cause you deserve a reward and I can't do this at Patty's," Connor says and reaches down between them. He starts stroking Leon's cock through the fabric of the sweats he's wearing, presses Leon up against the fridge and kisses him on the lips once, teasing. He pulls away before Leon can really respond and moves on to lick up the side of his neck.

Leon hums, says, "We probably could've found a bathroom," with a grin. Connor can feel him getting hard, the response quick and intense considering Connor is keeping his touch light.

"I really don't think so," Connor replies, uses a little more pressure to create more friction until all softness is gone and Leon moans against Connor's lips.

Connor drops to his knees. The kitchen tiles are hard and cold, but Leon's erection is clearly visible and Connor has been wanting to be right here since they got off the ice. He leans forward and breathes on the shape of Leon’s cock, open mouthed and wet, runs a hand up Leon's muscular thighs.

Leon slides two fingers under Connor's chin and gently tilts his head up, and Connor sees traces of concern written in the soft way Leon smiles down at him. He moves his hand so it is cupping Connor's cheek.

"You don't have to," Leon says and Connor could punch himself for making this awkward between them. He doesn't want Leon to hold back or to think that Connor will freak out on him every time they fuck. So he turns his head into Leon's hand and kisses the smooth skin there.

"I know," he says and hooks his fingers into the waistband of Leon's sweats, slides them off in one quick motion and finds Leon isn’t wearing underwear. Leon's cock has a nice length to it, but more than that it's thick and Connor loves the way it looks when he wraps his slender fingers around it, pulls the foreskin back to reveal the head. He looks up at Leon for a moment, sees his eyes filled with hesitation and want.

Connor licks his lips and leans in. He brushes a kiss against the tip and gathers some spit in his mouth, takes Leon in, just the tip, just enough to lick at the slit, soft and slow.

What he lacks in experience, he tries to make up for with eagerness and it's not like he's never gotten a blowjob before. He knows what he likes, remembers vividly what Leon did to him and figures he can't go wrong with taking his cues from that. Connor's always been a quick study.

He pulls off and proceeds to spread his spit all over Leon's cock, makes it glisten wetly, and wraps his hand around it to give a few lazy strokes. He licks at Leon's balls and the noises Leon's making are encouraging, so he takes his time with it, gets them wet, too, and sucks at the sensitive skin carefully.

When he comes up for air, there are beads of precome dripping from Leon’s slit. Connor laps them up slowly, takes in the taste and he still wants Leon to fuck him, wants his cock inside him and he really fucking needs to find the time to prepare for it and to convince Leon he'll be fine, after. He'll have to prove that, probably, wants to prove it now.

Connor takes a deep breath and works Leon’s cock into his mouth as far as he can, until he has to pull back a little so he doesn't choke. With more practice he'll be able to take all of him in but for now this will do. He starts to fuck his mouth down on Leon's cock, picking up the pace. The slickness of it makes for a filthy sound and it causes heat to pool in Connor’s stomach, his own cock hardening quickly.

The way Leon fills him is incredible, the moans that escape him are loud and perfect and Connor goes back down and halts, breathes through his nose consciously as he sucks his cheeks in and makes his mouth as tight as he can, pushes himself down just a little further.

"Fuck," Leon chokes out and his hands are in Connor's hair, pulling him back, but he's too late. Come hits the back of Connor’s throat and it's a near thing, but he manages to hold still, so still, until Leon is no longer pulsing into his mouth. Then he swallows around Leon's cock and pulls off, leans his head back to look up at Leon, feels legs trembling under his palms and Leon gives in to it, slides down the fridge until he’s sitting in front of Connor, breathing hard, forehead covered in sweat.

He touches his fingers to Connor's lips and says, "Your mouth, Con," pupils blown wide. "So fucking good.” He pulls Connor against him, takes Connor’s mouth with his like he's eager to fill it again. Connor enjoys the slow slide of lips and tongues, but he's also painfully hard in his pants and he needs to do something about that.

He shifts uncomfortably and Leon makes a small, soothing noise and fumbles for the button of Connor’s jeans blindly because he’s still kissing Connor and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to stop anytime soon. Connor is too close already so he guides Leon’s hand against the bulge in his pants and a few strokes are all it takes. He comes fast, moaning against Leon’s lips and it’s a little embarrassing, but he cares less about that when he sees Leon’s surprised expression.

“So. You’re amazing at giving head and you fucking love it, too?”

Connor smiles and shrugs, still coming down from his orgasm, but more than happy to kiss Leon some more, until they’re both too uncomfortable on the floor.

Connor had forgotten how gross it is to come in his pants because he hasn’t done that in a while, so he takes a quick shower and Leon’s already in bed when he gets out of the bathroom.

“Are you sleeping here?” Leon asks and it’s easy, again, but Connor wonders if he would be asking if he felt less insecure about them.

“Yeah. If you give me clothes to sleep in.”

Leon smiles at him brightly. “I don’t think you’re gonna need clothes tonight, babe.” He pulls back the covers and reveals he’s completely naked underneath. It’s a sight for sure and Connor laughs, drops the towel he had wrapped around his hips, and joins Leon for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not ready for game 7 ahaha.


	14. Round 2, Game 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-elimination chapter.

Nobody wants to be alone when they get back to the hotel and the rec room is crowded but quiet, except for some subdued conversation that comes up here and there but dies down again quickly. Looking around, Connor can see varying degrees of exhaustion and disappointment in everyone. His eyes stay on Looch for a moment because his exhaustion is buried under layers and layers of anger. He's still mad about the calls made in game 5 and Connor tried talking to him after he heard him raise his voice in another post game, only to realize Milan wasn't angry on his behalf but for the young guys on the team, for Connor and Leon and the rookies. Considering how deflated Benny and Drake look, Connor doesn't think he'll convince Looch to let it go anytime soon.

Connor wants to sleep more than anything, but he wants to be here, too. He doesn't have the energy to be a better captain right now, so sitting on the ground, leaning against Leon's and Patty's knees, Adam and Oscar on either side of him, is all he can do. He wishes he could do more, pick the other guys up and carry them through this, but he doesn't know how.

The only thing he knows is that it will feel better soon, when all they have accomplished this season becomes more than a thing they know technically, when it hurts less that they couldn't go further this time around. It'll just take some time until the pride they can take in themselves and each other outweighs the defeat.

Cam is the first to announce he's dead tired and needs to sleep, and it's true to the form he's displayed all season that he listens to his body now and leaves, patting some heads on his way out. It opens the floodgates and the room begins to empty.

After a while, Patty leans forward and quietly says, "You don't have to stick it out til the end." He clasps Connor's shoulder and gives it a squeeze before he gets up and says goodnight. Leon brushes his fingers against Connor's neck and tucks at the neckline of his shirt so Connor moves up to the couch, wincing because he feels like someone ran him over with one of those off-rode vehicles Benny’s so into. He's been hurting for a few games now, nothing serious, nothing that could have kept him off the ice, but it's probably for the best that he gets a break, even if he'd much rather still be fighting for the Cup.

“You look tired, Con,” Leon says softly and nudges him a little. Connor looks at him and compared to most of the other guys, he seems pretty alert. Sad about the end of their season, yes, but not like he needs to sleep for a weekend or two. Connor knows Leon wants to go to Worlds, and a part of him wishes he could come with, but it’s not in the cards for him this year. He’s been trying not to think about what that means. The notion of not getting to see Leon for months plays a bigger part in his disappointment than he wants to admit.

“Yeah. I’ll go see how Nursey feels about going up,” Connor mumbles, but he stays where he is for a few minutes longer, Leon a welcome weight against him, and checks his messages before he drags himself up and finds Nursey.

 _I’ll come over when he’s asleep, don’t wait up tho_ Connor texts Leon from the elevator. The spare key card to Leon’s room is in his wallet, hidden behind his driver’s license as if he couldn’t pass it off as his own if someone saw it.

When they get to their room, Connor heads straight for the bathroom and gets ready for bed, but Nursey hasn’t even changed out of his clothes when he gets back out. He’s on the phone with someone and Connor assumes it’s his girlfriend. He wouldn’t mind, could probably fall asleep to it too, but it’s interfering with his need to press his face into the curve of Leon’s neck while he still can.

He rummages through his bag to keep busy, starts packing some things so he won’t have to in the morning, shooting glances in Nursey’s direction every so often because he can’t help it.

“Hang on for a sec,” Nursey says into the phone and presses the mic against his chest. He looks at Connor, eyebrows raised, and when Connor doesn’t say anything, he rolls his eyes.

“Dude, you don’t have to wait until I’m asleep to sneak off to Leon’s.”

Connor stares at him, knows he probably looks exactly like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck, thinks he should breathe but doesn’t remember how that even works.

“Relax, Connor. It’s fine, it’s good. I won’t tell anyone, so, like – fucking breathe and go. Or stay, whatever.” And he just picks up the phone again and continues his call like nothing happened, like he hasn’t just almost given Connor a heart attack, like this no big deal. Connor’s still staring at him, but he’s being ignored and that’s probably for the best.

Connor doesn’t want to stay because he’s not sure he’ll get any sleep if he does, and it seems like Nursey doesn’t feel the need to talk about this, not now at least, so Connor gets his wallet and phone and leaves. He takes a second in the hallway for a few deep breaths and wonders if anyone else knows, or if it’s just because Nursey’s his roommate and one of his best friends.

Leon’s room is a few floors up and Connor is suddenly very afraid of running into someone on the elevator, so he takes the stairs even though his legs hate him for it. He lets himself in quickly and quietly in case Leon’s already asleep.

He isn’t, smiles up at Connor from where he’s sitting on the bed. His smile quickly changes into a frown when he notices the look on Connor’s face though.

“You okay?” he asks and moves to the edge of the bed. Connor plops down next to him and lets out a shaky breath.

“Turns out Nursey knows. About…this,” he says and moves his hand back and forth between them. “About us,” he adds unnecessarily. Leon definitely understood. His eyes widen but he doesn’t seem to be having trouble breathing, so that’s a good sign. Connor still feels completely blindsided by the whole thing.  

“He won’t say anything to anyone,” Leon says, matter of factly, after a few moments. Sometimes Connor forgets that Nursey has known Leon longer than Connor has, that they were roommates down in Bakersfield for a bit. There’s trust there, and Connor knows it’s not misplaced.

“I know, I know. It’s just-” Connor starts.

“You’re freaking out again, a little,” Leon finishes for him. There’s some apprehension in his voice.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Connor sighs. He needs to stop doing this.

Leon shifts and slides his hand into Connor’s, leans forward to kiss him lightly. “Don’t be. You’re talking to me, it’s all good.”

Connor is glad that Leon’s so calm about this. It helps stop his head from spinning out of control and allows fatigue to seep back into his bones. He moves to lie down on the bed and pulls Leon with him, curls up against his chest. Leon draws him in so close Connor thinks he can feel his heartbeat. He concentrates on that and feels his consciousness slipping fast.

“I wish we could have won,” he mumbles, or maybe it’s Leon who says it. Connor’s not too sure and it doesn’t matter. Letting go of it seems surprisingly easy here, now, so he does. They’ll be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SAD. I'm also really proud of this team though. And this is not the last chapter because Leon is going to Worlds and I don't want to stop writing yet. So.


	15. Exit Interviews

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set the night before exit interviews.

Leon has no idea who picked this club for them to go out to, but he feels just slightly too old to be here when he looks at the largely female and very underage clientele of the place. Still, everyone seems to be having fun, Nursey especially, who's been mingling with the crowd all night. Looch and some of the other older guys also seem to be enjoying themselves immensely, but they're mostly sticking to the VIP zone.   
  
The only person who seems like he'd rather be elsewhere is Connor, and that's hardly a shocker. Leon's been out with him before and he tends to stay at the tables, nurse his drink and use his team as a shield to protect him from strangers who are all too happy to film him. Leon understands why he doesn't feel at ease here.   
  
Leon himself is more than happy to let loose a little. The red tape around his insurance status has been sorted out, he'll be flying to Germany the next day and as much as he wanted to go further with the guys, if he can't, this is more than just the next best thing. Playing at Worlds in Cologne - it's a dream come true.    
  
He's not going to jeopardize that plan by getting shitfaced tonight, so he stops drinking after his second beer. Thankfully, he never needed alcohol to have a good time. When Patty slings an arm around his shoulder and guides him to the stage, it doesn't take much for him to come with. Somehow Looch ends up there with them and Leon dances, flirts with the crowd and gets a little carried away with the bottle of water he has in his hands.   
  
"You're gonna have the best time at Worlds!" Looch half shouts in his ear to make himself heard over the music and Leon spreads his arms for a hug. Milan is a great hugger. Leon suspects it's on account of his size. He's glad that Milan seems to have made his peace with the refereeing decisions he was so angry about after their elimination. The upset version of him is a little scary.

Leon makes his way back to the VIP zone and through to the separate bathroom it provides. Once he's taken a piss and washed his hands, he takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He runs his fingers through his beard that has grown a tad wild. He would've trimmed it a while ago had it not been for playoffs but he's not sure he wants to part with it just yet.   
  
He's about to head back out when Connor comes in, and not to actually use the facilities, because all he does is lean against the door and block Leon's way out.    
  
"Having fun?" Connor asks with a light smile. Leon comes closer and places his hands against the door on either side of Connor's head. They're alone in here now, but if that changes they'll be able to hold the door closed long enough to put a safe distance between each other. A small part of Leon's brain suggests that other guys would probably be cool with it, like Nursey was. Everyone on the team loves Connor. He can't imagine them being shit about it.

"Oh, definitely. It'd be even more fun if you'd dance with me, though," Leon says and leans in for a kiss. Given where they are he doesn't expect much reciprocation. Connor's tongue, hot and demanding in his mouth, is a bit of a surprise. He bites into Leon's bottom lip and sucks on it a little before he goes back to deep and fast and more. Leon can barely keep up.

He feels Connor's hand pressed against his crotch, where Leon's dick is already showing some interest in taking this further. “Con, babe, stop for a second, just-" he says and pushes off the door to take a step back.    
  
Connor's lips are pink and pretty and Leon loves the way he licks them now, like he's hungry for more.   
  
"Fuck,  Connor. We can't  _ here _ , Jesus." It's not that Leon doesn't want to, oh God he does, but he's not sure what has gotten into Connor. One of them needs to be reasonable at least and Leon can do that even when most people would probably expect it from Connor more than him.   
  
"Great," Connor says with a grin, "We can go home then?"    
  
And suddenly Leon understands Connor's purpose. The thought that Connor followed him in here to get him all hot and lure him back home early, it does something to him. He had no idea that Connor wants him enough to do something like this, risky and a little stupid, but here they are.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, but man, you could've just asked, though. And I gotta say goodbye to the guys first."   
  
As they walk back out to join their team, Connor just says, "Hurry, hot stuff." Leon glares at him, but he does hurry.   
  
They're in Connor’s apartment 20 minutes later.

“Nursey went home with that girl," Connor says and pulls Leon on into his bedroom.   
  
Connor seems less impatient now, but still determined as he strips Leon of his clothes and pushes him to sit down at the edge of the bed. Then, he nudges Leon's knees apart and kneels down between them. Leon's brain stutters to a halt when Connor takes his dick into his mouth, teasing at it with little licks and suction until Leon is fully hard.    
  
He's expecting a repeat performance of the night he scored his hatty, and he wants to know how Connor got this good at giving head, but Connor pulls away and presses a quick, sloppy kiss to Leon's lips.    
  
"Hang on for a second," Connor says, voice quiet and eyes full of intent. Then he disappears into his bathroom and Leon wants his lips back where they were before immediately. He sighs and leans back, props himself up on his elbows, his dick resting against his belly, glistening wet from Connor's mouth.    
  
Connor comes back in nothing but his briefs and Leon grins at him, says, "I could've helped with that."    
  
It doesn't get him the smile he was expecting, but then again Leon doesn't feel like being funny anymore when Connor reaches the bed and drops something on the mattress.    
  
It's lube.   
  
Heat spreads through Leon fast. He stares at the discreet black bottle for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, until Connor gets on the bed and straddles him. He gently guides Leon's head up and meets his eyes.   
  
"Look - I know you probably think this is a bad idea, and we don't have to, but I just - fuck, Leon. You're leaving tomorrow and I'm so glad you get to go, but I'll fucking miss you. And I really want this. Want you to fuck me. I won't freak again. Okay?”

Connor's not wrong. Leon has been cautious about this, so careful not to overwhelm Connor with anything, careful not to be too much. He believes Connor, though. He believes him. And he _ is  _ leaving tomorrow and he might not get to see Connor again until September. The thought alone makes his stomach drop, so he focuses on the night they have left together.   
  
"Yeah, okay," Leon says and his voice is shaky, so he tries to cover it up by teasing. "Jesus, babe, did you practice that speech-"    
  
Connor cuts him off with a kiss. Then he grabs the lube and holds it up between them.   
  
"I've got condoms, too."   
  
Leon smiles, runs his hands up Connor's thighs and on to cup his ass. He's given this some thought since the first time Connor brought it up.

"I don't need those if you don't, but they would actually make it a little easier on you. So. Your call, Captain."    
  
Connor snorts at the reference to his C, but he does think about it for a moment. His eyes flick down to Leon's dick and he wraps a hand around it, slides his thumb over the tip.   
  
"Have you ever fucked someone without, before?"   
  
Leon shakes his head. Connor leans in and presses kisses along Leon's jaw to his left ear.    
  
"So I'd be your first," Connor whispers, voice low.   
  
Leon nods, heart suddenly thumping hard in his chest because he hasn't thought about it like this before. And it shouldn't make a difference, it really shouldn't, but  _ fuck _ .   
  
"Then I think I can take it," Connor mumbles and Leon suddenly becomes very aware of the bulge in Connor's briefs that wasn't there all that long ago.    
  
Connor pushes him back into the sheets then and claims Leon's mouth with hungry kisses until Leon flips them around and moves down, removes Connor's briefs and gives his dick a few fast strokes before he moves on to run the tip of his index finger over Connor's rim, his touch light.   
  
He looks up at Connor, who is biting down on his lower lip, his eyes wide with anticipation. Leon slowly rubs the insides of his thighs, presses kisses there, moves ever closer to the tight, dark red muscle. He means to stop, but he notices Connor has fucking gone and prepared himself for this. Leon groans, and bites into the skin underneath his lips, makes Connor draw in a sharp breath.    
  
"Fuck, Con, how long have you been planning this? For fuck's sake." Leon can't help it, the thought of Connor doing his research and getting his hole nice and prepped for him is too much. He presses a wet kiss against it and licks around the rim with the tip of his tongue.   
  
"Oh God," Connor says from somewhere low in his throat and Leon grabs for the lube, finds it after a few moments. He warms some of it up with his hands before he touches it to Connor's hole and begins to tease it open, slowly, gently.    
  
"Talk to me, babe. Let me know what feels good," Leon says and hitches one of Connor's legs up against his shoulder, kisses the inside of Connor's knee as he slips the tip of his index finger inside.

"I just gotta get used to it. It’s good," Connor says. Leon knows it's not, not at first. He'll get Connor there, he just a has to be patient.

"I'm gonna make you love it, babe, I promise."    


He takes his time opening Connor up, makes sure he's nice and slick with lube, allows Connor to get used to the sensation of each new digit stretching him wider and filling him up. Connor seems to mostly be concentrating on his breathing and trying to stay as relaxed as he can. Every time he clenches around Leon's fingers, Leon rubs soothing circles around the slick rim pressed against them.   
  
When he curls his fingers and finds the bulb of tissue he was looking for, he presses into it lightly and a gasp escapes Connor's mouth.

"Fuck, _ this  _ is amazing, oh my god," Connor sighs and Leon keeps going, makes sure Connor feels good and relaxed and ready for him before he slowly pulls out his fingers and moves up to kiss Connor.

"Do you feel ready?"   
  
Connor gets his hand on Leon's dick, hard and hot between his legs from how he neglected it while all his focus was on Connor.    
  
"Yeah, I'm ready." Connor says it with conviction, like he's was born to take Leon's dick. Leon knows Connor was actually born to play hockey, but he loves how that confidence can bleed out into everything Connor does.    
  
Leon applies more lube, disregarding the complete mess he is making of the sheets. He fucks two fingers in again until Connor says his name, draws it out with a hint of impatience.   
  
"Okay, okay," he says quietly and positions himself so that his dick is pressing lightly against Connor's entrance. Connor has one hand fisted into the sheets and uses the other to pull Leon closer for a kiss.

With a little more pressure, Leon’s dick slides in, just the tip. Connor makes a quiet 'Oh' sound right into Leon's mouth and he stops immediately, gives Connor a chance to get used to the sensation. It's a lot, to be filled like this for the first time but the thought that it's him filling Connor up makes him feel a little lightheaded with want.

He takes Connor’s ass slowly and kisses Connor’s throat, listens carefully to his deep breathing. Despite his preparation, Connor feels tight around his dick, so tight, and Leon’s not even all the way in yet. Connor's hand has moved from his neck to his arm and his fingers are digging into Leon's biceps. His grip becomes a little painful when Leon finally bottoms out and leans in close.

“Talk to me, babe,” Leon says again, quietly, into Connor's ear. He pushes himself up enough to look at Connor's face. His eyes are screwed shut and his bottom lip is bitten red and a little puffy.

“You're so big, Leon. Fuck.”

Leon kisses Connor's lips gently.

“I know it's a lot. Just tell me if it's too much.”

Connor’s eyes fly open and he shakes his head. “I kinda- it hurts, but-” Connor mumbles and turns red. Leon doesn't want this if Connor's in too much pain, begins to slide out muttering an apology.

“I like it!” Connor blurts out, a little embarrassed, but he keeps talking. “I like a little hurt and just...it's good. So don't stop. I won't break.”

Leon feels like he needs a second or twenty to process this, rests his forehead against Connor's chest, because Connor likes it rough and he had no idea.

“Leon?”

He hums and gets his lips on Connor's nipple, slides his tongue over it and uses his teeth, too. Then he starts moving his hips, starts to fuck Connor, slow but deep. He looks at Connor again just to make sure he's still okay and finds him with his eyes closed, lips parted slightly. He just looks so good.

“God, you're perfect,” Leon says because right now it's better than using dumb words like  _ love.  _ Then he picks up the pace, finds a rhythm and an angle that make Connor's breath hitch and draw moans from between his lips.

Leon gets his hand on Connor's dick and spreads the precome over the crown with his thumb. He keeps up the pace while he jerks Connor off, makes it a little harder even and then Connor shakes apart beneath him, spurting come over Leon's hand and his own belly, clenching around Leon. He fucks him through it and when Connor looks up at him, through heavy- lidded eyes, still riding the aftershocks of his orgasm, Leon drives his dick home one last time and comes, too.

He leans down to kiss Connor, long and sweet, before he pulls out and collapses next to him, tries to give Connor some space. He fails mostly because Connor just follows and drapes himself over Leon’s side, ignoring the come on his stomach.

“I'm never moving again,” Connor announces and Leon grins and brings his arm up and around Connor to hold him close.

“We’ll be stuck together on the morning,” Leon mock-complains, like he'd actually mind.

Connor just presses even closer and kisses the side of Leon's neck. “I want to do this again,” he mumbles against the skin and something inside Leon settles down. He recognizes it as the sliver of fear he still had, fear that Connor would hate it and pull away again.

“First thing when I get back, we're going out on that date and after I'm gonna take you home and fuck you so good,” he says, quietly.

“That'll be ages from now,” Connor says with a sigh.

“I'm sorry. I know we said we'd go when the season’s over,” Leon says. He knows he'd regret not going, but right now he's so tempted to blow the whole thing off. It's a little scary, the things he'd do to have Connor near, always.

Connor lifts his head and looks at him, eyes soft.

“Actually, we said we'd go when there was no more hockey to play, and you're not done playing hockey. Also it's not like I'm waiting for the third date to put out, ‘cause wow, has that ship sailed. Did anyone ever tell you you're amazing at sex?”

“Not explicitly,” Leon laughs and loves Connor a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever because I was traveling and have been super jet lagged. Also it was written mostly on a phone so I apologize for any typos I didn't catch.
> 
> I miss the Oilers :(


	16. Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Leon's time at Worlds.
> 
> (FYI, Leon's Dad was actually in Edmonton for the entirety of their playoff run and flew back to Germany with him, but I only learned that after the fact. Maybe I'll work it in when I eventually make some edits, but for now let's pretend he wasn't there.)

They say goodbye in the morning. Connor kisses him and kisses him until he's definitely going to be late for his exit meeting.

“Call me when you have a chance,” he says. 

“You'll be asleep when I land.”

“I don't care.”

Leon kisses him one last time and Connor is gone. Something sad heaves in Leon's chest, something he fears will be his companion for a little while.

He packs in a hurry because his flight departs from Calgary, so he has to leave early. He's sure he's forgotten about fifty things when he's done but as long as he has his equipment, he's got everything he really needs. He has a few minutes left before the car to the airport arrives and he uses it to sprint up to Connor's apartment and drop off a bracelet he got a couple of days ago. Leon's not even sure why he bought it, but he saw it in a shop in Anaheim and thought  _ Connor _ .

The bed is still in the same messy state they left it in, so he places the bracelet on the nightstand. He considers leaving a note, but Connor is smart enough to figure this out.

He feels tired to the bone when he touches down in Frankfurt, in spite of the sleep he got during the flight. There are more reporters there than he was expecting, eager to know if he'll be playing against Italy in a couple of hours. All Leon wants to do is hug his parents and sister and let them take him home.

He's missed them, always does, even though he's been doing this for a few years now. There are too many things he’s not around for, birthdays and holidays, the night Kim broke up with her high school sweetheart everyone thought she was going to marry.

They understand, though, and he's incredibly lucky to have them.

He talks to Connor for a few minutes lying on the bed in his old room that's full of hockey trophies and posters of Cologne’s hockey and soccer clubs. He hasn't been back in so long and so much has happened since.

“Thanks for your gift,” Connor says, “I love it.”

“Good. I didn't know if it was dumb-”

“No, no. I wish I had gotten you something, for good luck. Not that you need it. How are you feeling?”

“Tired, but I'll definitely play.” Anybody who knows him at all probably knows this, too. Connor certainly does.

“I'll watch.” Connor yawns audibly.

“Go back to sleep, babe,” Leon says. He should be sleeping himself, but Connor already feels so far away. Hearing his sleepy, quiet voice helps a little.

“You'll be fucking amazing,” Connor says before they hang up. Leon smiles at the poster of Podolski on the wall opposite his bed and sets his alarm for the game.

He knows most of the guys on the roster, yet it feels a little weird to be dropped in the middle of this group that's been together for weeks of preparation, at least until Tiffi crashes into him, followed quickly by Dom, who nearly topples all three of them over.

“Fuck, you've gotten so big,” Tiffi says and punches him in the chest lightly. Leon laughs and slings one arm around his shoulder, drapes the other around Dom as they walk to the dressing room together. Just like that, they slip back into their old dynamic and it brings back memories of the time they spent together in juniors. It feels like a lifetime ago. Leon hates that they don't talk more, but distance and road trips and time zones make it hard.

He finds some chemistry with Ehrhoff on the ice and plays a decent game, all things considered. He'd never use his jet lag as an excuse, but he's so exhausted after the game that he falls asleep in the car home.

He reads through the messages Connor sent during the game while he brushes his teeth.

_ Skype tomorrow? Basically already sleeping  _ he texts when he's in bed. He means to wait for Connor's reply, but he's out the second his head hits the pillow.

The team has the next day off, so Leon doesn't have to move into the team hotel until the evening. It's a Sunday and he spends it sleeping off his jet lag and catching up with his parents. It's  _ home _ and Leon's looking forward to the summer in his city, with his family and friends.

The only thing missing is Connor, so he sends him a snap of his face once he's trimmed his beard.

_ it’s gone :(  _ Connor replies.

Leon nearly forgets about their Skype date a few hours later, because it's too comfy on the couch where he's watching a movie with his mom. He jumps up when he sees the time, startling her so much she nearly spills the coffee she's holding in her hands.

“I'll be back in a bit,” Leon says hastily and runs upstairs. It seems to be taking forever to boot up his laptop, so he facetimes Connor instead.

“Hi,” he says, a bit breathless, when Connor accepts his call.

“Hi,” Connor replies and smiles.

“Didn't know you liked the beard that much,” Leon says with a grin.

“What can I say, it's pretty hot.”

“So I'm not, now?”

Connor doesn't reply, just laughs and runs a hand through his hair.

Leon can see he's wearing the bracelet. He feels warm suddenly, but that must be because he sprinted up three flights of stairs.

“How's home?” Connor asks and Leon launches into a recap of everything he's done since he got back, which isn’t much considering he mostly slept and played hockey. Connor asks about his parents, about the game and the team and Leon completely forgets the time talking to him until Kim’s in his room because Leon didn't hear her knock through his headphones.

“Mom wants to know when you're coming down for dinner,” she says in German. When she sees who he's talking to, she comes closer and waves.

“Hi Connor,” she says and wraps her arms around Leon, chin resting on his head. Leon unplugs the headphones so she can talk to Connor. They met when she was visiting a while ago and stayed with him instead of at the hotel with their parents.

Connor, to his credit, seems to have remembered a lot of the things she told him then. Leon leans back in his seat and watches as they have a lively back and forth about her job and his TV commercials.

“Has Leon finally killed all the plants I bought him, do you know?”

Leon groans and Connor laughs.

“Your plants are fine, Kim. Also Mom’s probably wondering where you disappeared off to. Let her know I'll be down in a few?”

“Sure, but if the orchid is dead the next time I come to visit, you're in trouble,” she teases.

“That orchid is very dead,” Connor comments when she's left the room.

“I don't know, can't you like, bring those back to life or something? Or I'll buy a new one.” Kim would probably notice though, because Leon doesn't even remember what color the flower was.

“Do you need to go soon?” Connor asks.

“Yeah, I'm sorry. Mom made dinner.”

“Don't worry, I need to pack for Toronto anyway, won't have time later. Nursey’s in trouble with his girlfriend, so we're going out tonight.”

“Did you tell him that's a dumb idea?”

Connor sighs deeply and nods. “I'll make sure he doesn't make things worse.”

“Sounds like fun.”

Leon hears his mom calling his name from downstairs.

“Oh my god it's like I'm in highschool again,” he complains.

“You should go, though. Say hi to your parents?”

A thought races through Leon's mind and he allows it to run wild for a moment before he decides it's too soon.

“Will do,” he says and waves once before he signs off.

He'll get to tell his parents about Connor someday.

 

*

 

“So this Tiffels guy is pretty good.”

It's late, Leon should be sleeping, because they somehow managed to drag themselves to the quarter final and if they're to stand a chance against Canada, they'll all have to bring their A-game.

Connor's comment seems off-handed, they're talking about the game anyway, but something in his voice catches Leon's attention.

“Yeah, he is. We played together in Junior's for a while, us and Dom- uh, Kahun,” he clarifies, since Connor probably doesn't know anyone’s first name.

“And he plays college hockey now, right?”

“Yeah. But he's a Pens prospect.” Leon has a feeling Connor already knows this.

“What's he like off the ice?”

Leon grins, highly amused. If Connor is trying to be subtle, he's failing badly.

“He's a great guy, really.”

Connor goes very quiet, like he hopes Leon will just keep talking until he says the thing he's actually interested in. Leon's not gonna do him that favor.

“Babe…are you maybe a little jealous?”

Connor groans and runs a hand over his face. Then he shakes his head. “No, I'm just-”

Leon raises an eyebrow at him. “Okay,  _ fine.  _ Maybe a little. Happy now?”

“Let's just say I'm not unhappy you're so into me a couple of hugs between teammates make you jealous.”

“I said a  _ little _ . Not like I'm over here dying because I think you're doing that guy.” Connor rolls his eyes. “You just seemed really close.”

Leon smiles, done with the teasing for now. “We are close. I've known him since we both learned how to walk. My mom's his godmother, we practically grew up together. But like, full disclosure or whatever, he was the first guy I ever kissed.”

Connor looks pretty torn between vindication and barely disguised interest.

“Like, we were 15 and drunk for the first time and I told him I was into guys, but that I'd never kissed one. So he volunteered.Tiffi's that kind of friend.”

There's a small smile on Connor's lips now. “Well, okay. I'm glad you had a friend like him, then.”

“Who was your first kiss?” Leon asks because Connor makes it sound like he didn't have someone like Freddy and sure enough, Connor's smile is gone and he’s chewing the inside of his lower lip.

“You don't have to-”

“I know, Leon. I know. You don't have to backtrack every time you think you've asked something I'm not comfortable talking about. I want to tell you these things,” Connor says, quiet but insistent and Leon realizes he does have a tendency to do this, so he shuts up.

“It was just this guy, couple years older than me. Cam took me to a party because he thought I should do something that wasn't hockey related for once, and, yeah. It wasn't an awful kiss, but he was shit when I didn't want to blow him after.”

Leon thinks back to the lovely summer day he spent walking along the Rhine with Freddy until they found a spot where no one would catch them drinking, and how soft Freddy’s lips felt against his. After, Freddy just asked ‘Good?’ and gave him another beer when Leon replied ‘Yeah, I definitely like kissing dudes.’

“Fuck, Con. That sucks. I'm sorry.”

Connor shrugs. “It's okay. I think Cam beat him up with his friends after Mom got me and took me home.”

“Good,” Leon says. It comes out hard, even though he knows it's pointless to be angry about this after the fact. “But you deserved better. You deserved someone kind and gentle.” Leon wishes he'd known Connor back then, or that he could have had a friend like Freddy.

“I've got that now,” Connor says softly.

Leon didn't know it was possible to miss someone like this, in this strange way where his entire body is longing for Connor. His heart, worst of all, is hurting with the need to press against Connor and kiss him like he ought to be kissed.

“It'd be so cool if you were here,” he says. Connor smiles at him, eyes fond.

Then, an amused glint appears in them. “So I can beat you at hockey?”

“So I can say sorry for winning against Canada after,” Leon says with a grin, knowing full well that they'll need a miracle to pull that off.

“Someone's feeling confident,” Connor replies.

“Just ‘cause they don't have their best player with them. Not talking about Crosby,” he says before Connor can mention the name.

“You're clearly biased.”

“That's true. After all, Sidney Crosby has never sucked my dick,” Leon says and laughs at the mortified look on Connor's face until his cheeks hurt.

 

*

 

It's kind of surreal that his season is finally, irrevocably over. The amount of hockey he played this year also seems a little surreal, yet he thinks he could have kept going if only they'd beaten Canada.

“How do you feel?” Connor asks when they Skype the next morning. It's late for Connor, but he insisted.

“Kind of okay? I mean, we were all pretty realistic about our chances. We played a decent tournament and I hope that it'll maybe make hockey more popular here. If I've contributed to that in any way, I'm happy.”

Their conversation shifts away from Worlds and Canada’s chances of winning gold to Connor's plans for the week.

“I'm going down to Windsor tomorrow to catch a game and see Stromer,” Connor says. 

“Sounds good. I'm sure the Memorial Cup will be fun.”

“I'll do an interview and hopefully it'll be quiet otherwise.”

Connor hesitates for a moment.

“So…there was something I wanted to ask you,” he says.

“Shoot,” Leon says with a nod.

“Okay, so, I kind of talked to Dylan about us while I was, you know- anyway, I didn't tell him who I was with then, but I think I'd like to. If you're okay with it.”

They haven't ever officially agreed to or labelled anything, but Leon's pretty sure they're dating. That this is serious. That they're on the same page, now.

He doesn't know Dylan Strome, but he trusts Connor, so if Connor trusts Dylan, that's good enough for him.

“Of course it's okay, Con. I was actually thinking about telling my parents and Kim, soon-ish. I don't know if you want to tell your family yet, but if you did that would be okay, too...”

“My mom knows. She sat me down the first day I was back and just asked if it was you.”

Connor smiles at him in the way that makes his heart skip a beat every fucking time.

“Dad is taking Cam and me fishing next week, I'll probably tell them then.”

“Yeah, sounds like a good plan. Are you nervous?”

Connor shakes his head. “They know I'm gay, they like you. I think they'll be happy. Mom definitely is.”

“My dad doesn't know.”

Leon’s not sure why he never told him. He doesn't think it'll change anything, but it was always easy to pretend he was straight. He had to, in the hockey world, and his father has always been so intertwined with that.

“It'll be fine. He loves you and I don't know if you see it, but it's pretty obvious that he's incredibly proud of you.”

“He'll probably tell me it's a really dumb idea to date a teammate.”

“I don't know that it is. Stormer kind of convinced me it's pretty much ideal.”

Leon smiles. He's not sure that dating just any teammate is advisable, but dating Connor? Probably the best thing that could've happened to him.

“I wish I could kiss you,” Leon says. He's feeling sappy and he wants Connor close, so sue him.

“Yeah, me too,” Connor agrees.

_ Definitely on the same page _ , Leon thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This was were the fic originally ended, jsyk.)


	17. Offseason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are some things that happened over the summer:
> 
> Leon took a long ass vacation with his family and at least some of his buddies from when he played juniors in Germany. 
> 
> Connor went to Vegas and came back with three huge trophies.   
> Then he signed an extension for when his ETC ends. Eight years and lots of $$$. 
> 
> Leon took his sweet time signing his own contract and believe you me I was cool as a cucumber about it. Super chill. Definitely. Anyway Leon also signed for eight years and lots of $$ which means that I'll be tied to this fandom for the better part of a decade.
> 
> Do yourself a favour and listen to [this Leon interview](https://youtu.be/w-EFYvLDMhE), which this chapter is partly based on, and around the 2:30 mark something great happens if you ship these two idiots.
> 
> Oh also this is sappy as fuck and I miss hockey a whole lot but at least it's nearly September! Training camps! Reunions!!

Leon stays up late for the Awards because if he can’t be there in person then he’ll at least watch his boyfriend win a bunch of trophies, time zones be damned. He’s on vacation anyway, he can sleep in the next day. He plugs in his headphones though, so nobody else inside the house is disturbed, which means he nearly has a heart attack when Kim comes down into the living room and appears in front of him suddenly in a white night dress that’s probably supposed to look cute, but moonlights surprisingly well as a ghost costume.

Kim, of course, just laughs at him when he half jumps up, half falls off the couch.

“What are you watching?” she asks and takes a sip of water from the bottle she must have just gotten out of the fridge. Pearls of liquid are running down the plastic on account of the change in temperature.

“The NHL Awards are on soon,” he explains.

“Huh, didn’t the other guys want to see that, too?”

“Don't think so. I guess it’s pretty boring if you don’t know these guys. Connor’s up for a bunch of awards though,” he says, omitting the simple fact that he didn't tell anyone he was going to watch the show at all. Connor has been busy these past few days and it’s pathetic but Leon misses him all the time. He doesn’t want to watch this with half of his buddies from way back in Germany who felt like hanging out with him and his family in Spain.

“I know him, I’ll keep you company,” Kim says and sits down, leaning into him slightly as she tucks her feet up and to the side. Leon could protest, but it’s nice to have her company and as much as he wants summer to end, he knows that’ll also mean being too far away to place an arm around her shoulder and mess up her hair the way he does now. Kim pokes a finger in the space between two of his ribs in revenge and then holds out her hand for one of his earbuds.

Leon is halfway through explaining to her how the expansion draft works when Connor wins the Ted Lindsay and Leon just stops mid-sentence to pump his first in the air and watch Connor walk on stage.

“He's so nervous,” Leon says because he knows Connor hates public speaking and sure enough, Connor confirms it right away and does well enough with his speech even though he looks pretty uncomfortable. Leon thinks his heart is swollen to twice its normal size from how proud he is. Once Connor is done with his speech, Leon helps the boys blow up the team's group chat and sends Connor a few messages on top of that.

Kim keeps glancing up at him and clears her throat after a few minutes. Leon didn’t exactly forget she was there, but he really wasn’t paying attention, so it’s entirely possible that she said something and he missed it.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly and puts his phone down. “Did you say something?”

Kim shakes her head and sits up. “You really care about him, don’t you,” she says, clearly talking about Connor.

It would be so easy to explain it away - they’re teammates, they’re friends, awards reflect well on the club, obviously he cares - but Kim knows him so well that she must have picked up on something and Leon doesn’t want to lie to his sister. He pulls the earbuds from both their ears and gathers a little bit of courage with a deep breath.

“We’re dating,” he says, still looking at the screen, where Vegas is drafting the next round of players. There's no way Kim will be anything but supportive, but Leon's a little nervous regardless, until she leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek the way she used to when they were younger.

“I'm really happy for you, he's a good guy,” Kim says and when Leon turns to look at her, she's smiling gently.

“He really is,” Leon agrees.

“If he breaks your heart I'm gonna make sure he never plays hockey again,” Kim deadpans.

“Thank you, sis,” Leon says, laughing, “but then I'd have to protect you from approximately every hockey fan in Edmonton.”

“But they'd never know it was me,” she says with a devilish grin and Leon pulls her in for a hug. She's the best big sister in the entire world.

“So, how’d you end up dating God's gift to hockey? I want all the deets!”

Leon then spends the better part of the awards show telling Kim the story of how he wooed Connor McDavid and since she doesn't let him take many shortcuts - he draws the line at telling her about their sex life - he's done in time for them to watch Vegas pick Fleury, which is not a surprise but still a big deal.

When they introduce the nominees for the Hart, Leon feels his heartbeat pick up and Kim asks, “So, is your boy gonna win this?”

“Yeah,” he says without hesitation. There’s a good chance it’ll be Crosby again - but Leon feels, somehow, that Connor is going to take it home.

*

Connor calls Leon a few weeks later in the early evening while he's having dinner with his parents. They’re at a lovely little restaurant, in the town nearest to the villa they rented for their summer vacation and have just finished the main course, so Leon takes the call.

“Hey Con,” he says, happy to hear from Connor unexpectedly.

“Hi, are you alone?” Connor asks. He sounds a bit rushed and Leon can hear the noise traffic in the background, but it's muffled, so he thinks Connor is probably in a car somewhere.

“Hang on,” Leon says and excuses himself, ignoring the slightly scolding look his mom gives him.

“Okay, what's up?” He asks once he's outside where he leans against their rental car in the parking lot.

“I'm in Edmonton with my parents to sign the contract. I just wanted you to know before it’s made public and I have to give interviews all day long,” Connor says. Before Leon can react, he adds, “It's gonna be eight years at 100 million.”

Leon laughs and says, “So basically this is a call to let me know you'll be my sugar daddy from now on?”

“Basically,” Connor says and Leon knows he's rolling his eyes, but in a fond way.

“That's awesome, babe,” Leon says, more earnestly now, because it is. Connor deserves all of this and of course Leon knew it was coming. He's seen the numbers that some of the experts put out there, even though he tried his best to ignore all the speculation, to honor their agreement - that they would not discuss contracts until they were done and that they'd make their decisions without regard to their relationship.

Considering that Oilers management was focused on signing Connor's extension, nothing much has been happening with Leon's own negotiations. He expects that will change soon.

“Yeah, it really is,” Connor says. “I need to go now, we're almost at the rink. I just wanted you to hear it from me.”

“Thanks, Con. I'm so happy for you. Call me tomorrow, yeah?”

“As soon as I'm back home, promise.” There's a pause. “My parents say hi,” Connor adds.

“I say hi back. Now go and get signed and let everyone know you'll be the richest fucking player in this league,” Leon says. Connor groans because he's ridiculously humble. Leon sometimes finds it remarkable, really, how little all the attention and pressure and expectations have gone to Connor’s head.

He goes back inside and watches his parents for a moment, happy and relaxed as they share a dessert, and Leon’s glad that he can do this for them after all they’ve done for him - take his family on vacation and enjoy life with them.

“All good?” his mom asks when he rejoins them and Leon nods.

“Yeah. Connor’s signing his contract today,” he explains and his dad raises an eyebrow.

“He called just to tell you that?” It’s a fair question, considering most players probably wouldn't share the state of his contract negotiations with any of their teammates, or give them a heads up before signing.

Leon should tell them - should've told them by now. Kim thinks it’s time and he's been meaning to do it ever since they arrived in Spain, but he knows his dad. While hockey may not be the only thing that defines their relationship, it’s an important chunk in the mix. His dad will worry about him jeopardizing his career, especially because Connor is a teammate. Leon isn’t sure that he could make him understand why he is risking everything he’s worked for, everything that they’ve both worked so hard for.

There’s a place and time for telling your parents you’re dating the best hockey player in the world, though, and Leon figures a busy restaurant in Spain where half the patrons are possibly German definitely isn’t suitable.

So he shakes his head and says, “No, I was waiting to hear back from him on something,” before he steals a spoonful of ice cream and changes the subject.

*

The thing is, Leon has no idea how to make a decision on his contract without factoring Connor in. He would obviously have been an aspect in the process even if they were just friends, but as much as Leon knows he wants to stay in Edmonton for as long as possible, he wonders if signing for eight years wouldn't put too much pressure on them - not just to win a cup, but on their relationship. Leon’s pretty sure Connor was always going to get signed to a maximum term, but a bridge deal is a real possibility for him and perhaps it’s worth considering.

His dad can’t really help because he doesn’t have the whole picture, so he talks to Kim instead, who doesn’t understand why he’s not talking to Connor and rolls her eyes at him when he explains. “Boys are so dumb sometimes,” she says, and, “Just talk to him anyway.”

In spite of their deal, he brings it up one day when he’s talking to Connor, because he’s been mulling it over for a week now and he just needs to know what Connor is thinking. He doesn’t get much further than saying the word contract before Connor interrupts him.

“Leon,” Connor says, sounding a little pained, “we agreed. I’m not gonna get involved in this. It’s your career, you gotta make that choice.”

Leon sighs, because he wasn’t expecting this to go down much differently. Connor doesn’t look too annoyed yet, so he supposes he can push a little more.

“But I just-” he tries.

“No, I mean it. Just, like...do what you’d do if we weren’t together.”

“Is that what you did?”

Connor shrugs. “Doesn't matter now, my deal is done.”

“How is this fair?” Leon would actually find it helpful to know if Connor had them in mind when he agreed to the eight year term.

“Yes, it’s very unfair that you have to figure out your contract without me holding your hand, I know. Sucks to be you, I’m a really terrible person, now will you please stop sulking and tell me about Prague?” Connor smiles at him and Leon thinks that if he didn’t find him so charming, maybe he wouldn’t want to be in Edmonton for as long as Connor is there, too.

After they've hung up, Leon considers what Connor said and as it turns out, his advice isn't terrible. Leon likes playing in Edmonton, he likes the team and the coaching staff. He thinks they have something good going on there and he wants to stay for as long as possible and make an effort to win a cup with these guys. It's not just Connor that makes him want to commit to the Oilers.

He gets a text from Connor late that night asking if he's still up. Leon's in bed already, but still mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. As soon as he replies, Connor facetimes him.

“Hi?” Leon says and turns to his side to avoid dropping his phone on his face.

“Hi. So I’ve been thinking, and I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your contract, but maybe this will help, or make things clearer or whatever-”

“No, Con, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have asked-”

“I love you.”

Connor hangs up and Leon is left blinking at his phone screen. He sits up to call Connor back, but Connor is not picking up, so he has to text him instead.

 **Leon** (0:27)   
_Connor pick up_.

 **Connor** (0:28)  
 _no_

 **Leon** (0:28)   
_Would you just answer the next call please_

Leon tries calling again, with the same result and it would be pretty fucking annoying if he wasn't also feeling so stupidly happy.

 **Leon** (0:30)   
_oh my god I’m never sleeping with you again_

 **Connor** (0:30)  
 _sounds like an empty threat to me_

 **Leon** (0:30)  
 _just pick up babe_

 **Connor** (0:32)  
 _wanted u to have all the information  
go to sleep_

 **Leon** (0:33)  
 _it’s a good thing I love you too cause not everyone would put up with this_

 **Connor** (0:34)  
 _lucky me. sleep well <3_ 

*

Once Leon stops thinking about bridge deals, it’s mostly a question of money. He’s happy to let his agent make sure he gets paid and hammer out all the other details they need. It takes a few more weeks, but it gets done well ahead of training camp. That’s a good thing for many reasons, chief amongst them that he’ll get to see Connor again soon. It’s been a long summer.

“Eight years, eh?” Connor says, a big, dorky smile on his face, when Leon tells him a little ahead of the official announcement.

“Eight years, babe,” Leon replies. He can't wait for their future to begin. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading along, for leaving kudos and comments <3 It has made this really worthwhile and enjoyable.
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://mcdraii.tumblr.com/).


End file.
